You would think this is the stuff of Alice and Wonderland, where one pill makes you taller and the other makes you small. But according to a new study out of the esteemed Oxford University claims that being a strict vegetarian can make your brain shrink. That’s right, vegans are six times more likely to suffer brain shrinkage than, gasp, meat eaters. Of course, the study also claimed that drinking more than 14 drinks a week will also make your brain shrink, as will smoking pot or being overweight. Interesting study.
I have often wondered why people working in health food stores can act like morons. Witness the one the other day who asked to eat half a chicken and salad if I would need a knife and fork. “No, chopsticks,” I told her,somewhat sarcastically. So she gave me chopsticks. Therefore, I would take the study further and posit that eating veggies also reduces greatly one’s sense of humor. But that is my own individual perception. But many will agree. Maybe not the vegans, but all the others who derive their culinary pleasures by feasting on the flatulent, ozone tampering animal hordes that graze our depleted lands. Think of how many times you have been reminded by your self-righteous friends how your eating habits are ruining the planet.
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I have to think of the online dating sites that specialize in vegan romantic prospects. Like minded people thinking like minded thoughts, with likely shrinking brains. No variety desired, not on these dating sites. And sex with someone who devours those awful, flatulent, ozone destroying bests, well that most be unthinkable to those who register on a dating site. Or maybe they are more practically minded, and just don’t want to bother cooking the food they really deplore. I know that varying a menu to fit special needs is annoying at best. Making two different meals, one for youself and one for your romantic partner has to be a major pain. It can force you to the market for prepared foods. It can drive you to drink. Which can shrink your brain.
What a vicious cycle. What a vicious web we spin.
