Michael Phelps smoked some marijuana. That’s right. Hard to believe isn’t it, that a 23 year-old man actually huffed some grass through a bong. But, nevertheless, there you are. The record breaking winner of an unprecedented eight Olympic gold medals sometimes likes to toke down a bowl.
For this, Kellogg will not renew his contract. Kellogg, founded in the nineteenth century by renowned nut job and corn flakes manufacturer, John Harvey Kellogg, will allow Phelps’ contract to expire, which is due to happen shortly. If you think Kellogg, the man, was just another cereal guy, read his writings sexuality and the ways to prevent masturbation, install cages around the organs, and what he deemed as other nasty habits. I think most agree that his recommendation he apply carbolic acid to the clitoris in order to prevent sexual arousal is just a wee bit over the top. You can think that one over when you chow down on your next bowl of Corn Flakes.
Subway, on the other hand, will stand by the star swimmer, perhaps let a little time transpire before using Phelps to promote their sub sandwiches. I suppose the powers that be at Subway assume the public will be forgiving for Phelps’ great transgression. That or they will attract the stoner crowd who after a few bong hits of their own will get the munchies and march on down for the foot long special
By comparison, Bernard Madoff just took off his trusting clients for something like $50 Billion, one of a number of Ponzi schemes beginning to surface. Madoff ruined people, took every last dime, stole their retirement money, and ripped off foundations and charities. Considering also, that there are those in Wall Street on just drove the country into the ground, who also ruined retirement funds and countless businesses, Michael Phelps’ great transgression seems to pale by comparison.
I am not one to do drugs, nor am I one to promote them. I do, however, believe we should strive to retain a sense of proportion, and with the nation suffering from economic recession, this is no time to nullify our heroes for something this inconsequential, or, for that matter, something so common. If anything, we should suppress a yawn, rather than demonstrate our righteous indignation.
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Millions of people in this country smoke grass. We can rail about it, thump our self-righteous doctrines all day long, but at the end of that day a good many younger people will join a good many older people in taking a hit on their favorite bong. In places like California, if smoking marijuana isn’t legal, it is about as close as you can be without a full declaration. Over all, except for places where the ever vigilant South Carolina sheriff who has threatened to prosecute Michael Phelps for his heinous acts, nobody really cares much about who is smoking marijuana.
But yet we have another big stink, and the stink clouds one of our greatest sports performers, not in a sweet and funky haze of grass, but over something that perhaps could have been ignored. Granted, Phelps was stupid for smoking and risking his endorsements. But he is a kid, after all, and if kids don’t have the latitude to be at least somewhat foolish, then who does?
As for Kellogg, if it had any sense it would let the matter pass and continue to use Phelps as its spokesman. Perhaps it is its heritage that keeps it from doing so. Perhaps having a sexually repressed individual who was phobic about smoking, drinking, just about everything but corn flakes, peanut butter and enemas, can prevent an evolved company from perceiving how little the bong hit matters to the world.
In fact, it may even be prudent for Kellogg or some other company to feature Phelps on the cover of its package, bong in hand. There is a strong enough demographic, a target market, if you will, to make a case for a more liberal minded presentation. Perhaps they would see even more cereal in a down market. That would be something. Just think what it may do to their thinking. They might even need a bong hit, just to come down from the shock.
