Finally, the truth can be known. There is no such thing as Cello Scrotum. Thirty Four years later we learn that Baroness Elaine Murphy and Husband John, made up the disease as a joke, after hearing about Guitarist’s Nipple, which is an authentic disease.
Murphy, who is now a member of the British House of Lords, fabricated the disease, claiming it was ball chafe caused by placing a cello between your legs. Guitarist Nipple, on the other hand, is inflammation of the nipples, caused by pushing the guitar against your chest. The original paper, declaring the existence of the dreadful cello scrotum was actually published in the prestigious British Medical Journal. What do they know?
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As the Murphy’s attest, anyone who actually watches a musician play the cello will realize that the dreaded cello never becomes intimate enough with the scrotum to cause chafing.
So we can relaxe now and breathe easy. It is safe once again to visit music stores without worry whether the cello will jump off the wall and have a go at your scrotum. As for your women, I suppose you never did have anything to worry about. Not even when the hoax was for real.
