The new green is nudism. Or so says Kathy Blanchard on her The Naturist Society Website. According to an article in the New York Times and on Ms. Blanchard’s website, the tough economy is causing many potential vacationers to look for cheap spots where clothing is optional. A good choice, opines Blanchard, since going nude cuts down on the laundry bill, saving energy and the repurchase of clothing. You keep the planet clean by not dumping as much soap into our water systems.
Who am I to argue? It is just that I don’t relish seeing Al Gore and others who cross my mind lecturing me in their birthday suits. In fact, anyone who has been to a nude beach can attest it may be a freer way of catching the surf and sun, but hardly the sexy tableau that invades our imagination. But then again, according to the naturalists, going nude is not supposed to be sexy. It’s supposed to be natural. And green.
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Especially those ornery two inch long, urinphilic Candiru, that are know to inhabit the Amazon River. These little Catfish-like buggers are spiny and painful and can penetrate the human urethra. That’s the penis and vagina to the medically less informed. They then start snacking on mucous membrane. This was enough of a problem that the indigenous people often wore some type of cod pieces, a coconut shell.
Okay, like most of us, I have no intention of swimming in the Amazon. It’s hard enough to go to Santa Barbara, what with traffic on the highways and the nonsense at the airports. Most of the swimming I do anymore is in a swimming pool, where I could swim in the nude. I guess. I would just have to change my paradigm. I wouldn’t be scaring the neighbors; I would be saving the planet.