Life can be cruel at times. Life can be filled with contradictions. Contradictions that become paradoxes in our day-to-day lives and as the years progress leave us wondering, what the hell happened? The cruelty part is that there is no going back, no modifying the order of things or adjusting priorities. Despite all good wishes and inspiring messages to the contrary, in pure existential terms we are left at the end of a cycle in possession of our triumphs and losses, our insights and misgivings. Life in hindsight becomes a mathematical puzzle of sorts, but with escalating complexity as our perception of events and their outcome is constantly mutating, leaving us to readjust the pieces as time goes on.
There are different versions of assessment and readjustment, each filled with mixtures of satisfaction and regret. I am not talking about the macro stuff here, the atrocities and eco-disasters, the flagrant disorders of the world. Catastrophe is relatively easy to assess and reconcile on the macro level than the universal eventualities that sooner or later enter our lives. Aging is one such area where the large, universal picture eventually makes a very lasting acquaintance. With aging comes its usual accessories, health issues, frailty, culminating in an intimate howdy do with our own mortality. Such concerns are all out there, until that one day when you look in the mirror and start to think, “do I know you?”
But like it or not, we have all been programmed to deal with aging and mortality. For the most part we think happy thoughts. You turn on the TV and there is some saccharine commercial to remind you of all the tender moments you experience with friends and family in your approaching dotage. We get the Lion King Circle of Life Routine , and we are encouraged that our brief blip on the radar screen may be filled with meaning and purpose. We take heart in the acts of familial succession and the belief we will reincarnate as we have before. We project in the back of our thickening skulls that upon our return we will access the lush life, refusing to believe that in past lives and the ones beyond it we were meager peasants whose greatest triumph was now getting trampled by the noble’s horses.
Without all this concern for mortality and the afterlife there would not be much of a market for religion and corny movies. All those Hallmark Cards and Kodak Moments may be selling at a discount on the dusty back bin of the Dollar Store. Mortality is perplexing. It gives us food for thought and a sense of spirit and a glimmer of eternity. It keeps us in line. Or it doesn’t. But few ever scoff at the notion that somehow, in some way, I am paying the price for my deeds and misdeeds.
But honestly, this is all the easy stuff. Life and death; there’s nothing to it. Whether you are stuffed in a hole or return again to repeat the same mistakes or make different ones, this concern is really a piece of cake. Because at the end of the day your beliefs may give you comfort, offer solace at that heavy trafficked intersection of doubt and faith. But the morning after, whatever you believe becomes moot. Unless you hit the jackpot by guessing correctly on the Eternity Betting Pool and then your journey to the other side rests comfortably on auto-pilot.
What isn’t easy is sex. Sex is fraught with cruel paradox as if the great creator did some custom body work on Adam and Eve as if for the purpose of a practical joke. Doesn’t really matter if it is Adam and Eve, Adam and Adam, or Eve and Eve, or any combination therein, the fact that each group is victimized by biology and its staggered time frame for sexual desire. It is no secret that men are more interested in sex at an early age, their late teens and twenties. Men have sexual thoughts about once every twelve seconds, barring distractions like earthquakes and fires. And even then…. Women on the other hand may have sex at an early age but according to one study in the British Medical Journal that was also reported in Time Magazine, that for women that full blown libidinous activity doesn’t kick in until their late twenties. The article reported that women are not having more passionate sexual fantasies between 27 and 45 but they are actually having more sex than women 18 to 26. Sounds hard to believe, but, hey, its Time Magazine and the British Medical Journal, after all. Who would know these things if they didn’t?
The theory is associated with evolution. In a nut shell, in her younger years, a woman didn’t have to work so hard at sex to become pregnant. It was only a matter of time. Fewer times. But over time and with aging having children was a greater challenge and as women had children at an older age, the sex fantasies and desire kicked in to accommodate the advancing years.
Here is the passage from Time Magazine—
Here’s how their theory works:
“Our female ancestors grew accustomed to watching many of their children — perhaps as many as half — die of various diseases, starvation, warfare and so on before being able to have kids of their own. This trauma left a psychological imprint to bear as many children as possible. Becoming pregnant is much easier for women and girls in their teens and early 20s — so much easier that they need not spend much time having sex.”
Otherwise, it http://miamistonecrabs.com/contact-us/ get cialis overnight will invite lots of complications in your personal relation. When you have had a issue then so viagra cheapest when you fail or encounter one of those dark nights or winter seasons consider these three touchstones as points of potential light: It’s Always Darkest before the Dawn Trust there’s a lesson on the other side and find comfort in knowing there are lots of footprints to follow or provide light on the path to success. Why knee fat reducing liposuction is so important? Along with the Unit Head. cialis without prescription Each treatment is custom-made based on the sample generic viagra injury and consequences. I believe there is more involved that physical evolution. Reportedly, in women, the libido takes a breather, while for men it keeps right on going. Boomer women especially, having been programmed to behave themselves in order to appear decent and marry the right sort of fellow, became sexually active a little later than the younger women of today. Boomer women had to keep their legs crossed if they were going to be the good girl. For extra money, the only call girling they did was to call their parents and beg for a larger allowance. Or they worked in the college cafeteria or took a job as a waitress. Alright, so come college they met a boy and the boy was nice…and they started to fool around.
It is only later in life that Boomer women start to smarten up and ease off the guilt that was fire forged and ice hardened by concerned but fearful parents. Time is passing, and opportunity is dwindling. Before you end up having heart-to-hearts with a pet iguana there is time for a virtual fling. Some women, to avoid labeling and scrutiny even move to different and distant places. Santa Fe in the years I lived there was fraught with single Boomer women on the prowl. The difficulty was there were so few men, and the men who were single or available made the Peter Pan Syndrome appear the lexicon for ancient and sage-like wisdom. Like I say, life can be cruel and full of paradox. Even the married women aged 27 to 47 have more sex than younger or older women. Sexual peak and all that. As for the fantasies, let’s say more than a few do not involve their present partner.
But then, as the report contends, after that hot and heavy decade or three of sexual desire, replete with fantasies and late night longing, the warranty on the libido begins to lapse. The Cougar business notwithstanding, the hunger is more for the lascivious display at Yogurt Land than the sexual encounter. The report, or the study, as with any other study, has its flaws. Older women may be divorced or widowed, or are less inclined to gab it up at gray haired mixers. I don’t know.
And there are the men. Their trajectory is dramatically different. They start off strong and then start to flag as they approach or enter middle age. It is a mixed bag of reasons. This is not to say men of this age have allowed women to corner the market on sexual fantasy and romantic pursuit. But it just ain’t the same. Suffice it to say they are far more interested in 3-D than a D-Cup. Unless the D-Cup is actually on the 3-D Television, and then the may go off on his lonesome to remember old times.
But then something kicks in and as men get older they get horny again. Go figure. Just when you thought it was safe to crawl back between the sheets. Back a few years in history, a man confronted the dreaded reality that the brain may still be filled with desire, but the penis has downshifted to a lower gear. Lust over limpness, if you will. So in was once upon a time the awkward but somewhat natural order of things, both spouses acclimate to the new conditions of age and erosion and spend more time showing their friends more pictures of their grandkids or that wing ding at Lake Havasu.
An equilibrium of sorts had been established. But along comes Viagra. Men become randy old fools and, according to the report, women tend to other matters. Statistically, 67% of the men between sixty-five and seventy-four were sexually active. Only forty percent of the women in same age group were sexually active. A third of the men in the age range of 75 to 85 said they had sex within the last twelve months. Only 17% of the women in the same age group can make the same claim. Frankly I am impressed by the men, not so much that they had sex but at that age they can still remember they had it. As for the women, as noted before, the report did not take into consideration some easily identifiable extenuating factors.
Alright, so what has this been doing to senior America? And you believed their main concern was losing their Medicare. Unh uh. Aged boners are messing up the fire drill. Older men are zipping up the Sansabelts and jumping the reservation. At an age when their physical activity may be a a vigorous workout on the treadmill, they are sowing sin in Sun City. Talk about an alliance among the willing. They are jumping off their electro carts and cruising the streets for desperate hookers in a down economy. According to an article in the Daily Beast, they are bringing back sexually transmitted diseases to hearth and home. Imagine this doctor’s surprise when an eighty-year-old guy shows up with the clap. They are leaving their wives, and they are cheating on their wives. Or, worse, they are forcing themselves on their wives.
The result is mixed. According to the article, some women are enthused. But most are not. They thought this part of their lives were over and now the long retired Jumping Jack Flash has nothing but time on his hands and a chubby. Many women find such entreaties annoying. But then, if they don’t for a few bucks or a couple hours distraction someone else will. So leave it to good old American know how to produce a female version of Viagra. The intent was to utilize Boehringer Ingelheim’s flibanserin, a drug for premenopausal women, as the new boost for women who report a lack of sexual desire. Let’s follow the credo, even if there isn’t a market, create one. Lots of high hopes. But in two different studies the drug failed to show any increase in sex drive. The elusive search continues.
Like I noted, there are exceptions to all of this and there are certainly extenuating factors. But there is still no denying that life is cruel and full of paradox. Not only as Elmore James once declared does he love her, but she loves him and so forth…but the sexual trajectories of men and women are so different their sexual encounters are torn asunder by bad timing and nature’s doctrine. It’s hard enough to find love, and then when you do it’s sexual manifestation can become a total pain in the ass. Perhaps in the end, our desire for satisfaction had disrupted the natural order of things. At this time of life, Bill Maher joked, “maybe people shouldn’t be having sex. It has to hurt,” he said. ” It hurts just to stand up.”
For me the bottom line is like all challenges, time will eventually sort this one out. Or not. And maybe those who resort to prayer, asking the Lord or the Goddess or the Universe, whatever, to sort out the rights and wrongs, to give them things, bring peace and prosperity, should beseech that same supreme being that it would really be nice to rethink the math on the cycles of human sexuality. Life is hard enough.
