corporate investigation – Page 2

Financial Meltdown Remedy–Stashing Your Cash in the Home Safe

As the financial crisis worsens more people are taking their money out of banks and buying home safes. They feel their valuables are better protected when it is closer to hearth and home than it is in a bank that could fail at any minute. They are stashing gold, jewelry and cash. According to an article on CNN, home safe sales are up by at least fifty percent.

I am sure the trend is catching on. And with the trend come the bragging rights. We often love to brag about the most insipid of things. In communities where life is too often measured by who has the nicer car and who maintains better lawn care, this is a one more topic for the cocktail and barbecue circuit. I am sure we will here from people who ten minutes ago didn’t know a safe from a cab stand, all about the intrinsic qualities, the locking devices, style, weight and, naturally, the size and cost.

The financial meltdown is hardly funny. But aspects of running out to buy a home safe that you believe is safer than banks, is pretty funny in a darker way. It reminds me of the old timers and miser of yore who hid their money under the mattress, or in the cookie jar or the cut out pages of a book. My grandparents long ago employed one such fellow who discovered to his dismay that my grandmother on a cleaning spree unwittingly donated the cobwebbed books and, consequently, his money to the Salvation Army.

With mattresses now so technologically advanced, it is really difficult to hide more than a few bills under one. Too much cash can ruin the rest on a Tempurpedic. The cookie jar is a tough place for stashing gold, and the safe, well, as good as it is, it’s vulnerable to burglars and home invaders.

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The really good, expensive, home safes may be impervious to the blow torch or maybe even to dynamite. Well, some small amount of dynamite. But they are not impervious to someone sticking a gun in your face and ordering you to open the safe, before they kill you. Will this happen? As the economy continues its downfall, you will see more crime. You can’t count on much, but you can sure count on that happening.

The geekier burglars will hack in to vendor databases and find out where you live. Intercept your mail. Whatever. So what’s the trend, then? Install an alarm system. That will protect your house and your safe. Until the geeky techno burglar bypasses your alarm and gets into your face, or waits in hiding until you come home, sticks a gun at your head and orders you to open up. Burglars driving by will see the new alarm sign and figure, ” there has to be a safe in there.”

Now I’m not saying someone shouldn’t have safe. Probably they should. A good fire safe is excellent for protecting valuables against a fire. It’s a great place to stash some cash for emergencies and some of your jewelry and the kind of bonds you can easily have replaced. It’s great for your prized autographed Babe Ruth Baseball or a document signed by Abraham Lincoln. Whether it is good for stashing gold bullion, as some are wont to do right now, well that is another story.

So what to do with most of your cash, your valuables, and, if your are lucky enough, your gold coins and bullion? Stick them in a bank. After all, that’s what banks are made for.

Is Fannie Mae to Blame for the Financial Crisis?

What I find in so many articles about the financial mess we are in is the greatest focus is on Fannie Mae. While no doubt Fannie Mae had much to do with the debacle we are now facing, there are multiple lenders at multiple banks who when freed of such elements as oversight and regulation and the need to maintain certain reserves, lent money to everyone and anyone.

In many real estate scams, the great flipping fiasco, “home buyers” were provided with loans for different properties totaling well in the millions. There was no qualifying or the qualifying financial statements were false. In most cases these were not minority borrowers. In fact, far from it.

But, nevertheless, they were part of giant flipping schemes, misleading their lenders and then borrowers on the actual value of the property by having appraisers who were well paid for their efforts falsify the documents and assess the value of these houses at artificial and specious rates. Sometimes they worked independently and more often they were “straw buyers” front people for the real money, the people who would actually buy the house and then flip them for cooked value and greater profits.

Every bank got into the act and every bank resold their mortgages to the unsuspecting and to foreign investors who had no idea what the true value of the properties were. There is one case in LA alone, relatively small on the bigger picture, where through bribed appraisers, stand-in mortgage brokers and willing banks, they took off over $148 Million. It’s an elaborate scheme, but thanks to the lack of regulation, it has been repeated all over the country. Las Vegas and Phoenix were particualrly notorious for this type of criminal operation.

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By comparison, the Billions that banks and mortgage brokers raked off by issuing irresponsible and unsubstantiated lines makes the aggregate $48 to $50 million in golden parachutes to to the unworthy members of Fanny Mae pale by comparison. Their severance packages while regrettable and undeserved are a drop in the bucket compared to the grab bag of interests and the hundreds of millions and billions paid out in bonuses and profits for issuing irresponsible loans that were motivated purely by greed.

Like everything else of this nature, Ponzi Schemes, Pyramid Parties, the Savings and Loan debacle some years back, it soon becomes a game of Musical Chairs. It all works fine and everyone is happy dancing in their own delusions until the music stops and there are no more chairs left. Then the panic starts. In this case it proved uncontrollable panic and now we plummet to near financial ruin, much to the surprise of the entire nation.

The bottom line is that regulations are there for a reason. And if they are outmoded or 20th Century regulations, as some contest, then they have to be upgraded and brought current. But the one overriding factor, no matter what century, is that if you reduce the necessary reserves a bank or lending institution must have at the ready, then you invite disaster. It ha happened time and time again, from people who were unqualified buying stocks on margin, which lead partly to the ’29 crash, to the Savings and Loan mess, to this. It is a very simple premise really–have enough capital in reserve to pay for mistakes and avoid catastrophe. It was ignored and then dismissed.

Personally, I believe there is ample blame to go around. From the venal jerks at Fannie Mae to the venal jerks at the banks and mortgage brokers around the country. Just what we have seen so far pretty much defines the general pattern of perhaps criminal behavior. The lenders were given a license to steal and they took advantage of it. Couple all that with a consumer society that doesn’t really produce anything anymore, and consumers who seek instant gratification, taking loans they can never afford to repay, taking loans for their own housing flipping scams, taking home equity loans to buy assorted trinkets and beads, and you have a disaster in the making.

In this case the disaster is already made. We are now living in its aftermath and trying to survive. But pointing fingers at minority groups who bought homes they should have never bought or the people, the simple minded bureaucrats of Fannie Mae and company who were pressued into granting these loans, or even the brokers and corporate criminals alone, or these three fools, no matter how incompetent, seems to miss the point. Blaming the Fannie Mae, is like blaming a single taxi for gridlock. We are all to blame. For being greedy. For being so stupid.

The Terrorists on Wall Street

Once again terrorists have visited Wall Street. This time they did not attack with hijacked airliners, crashing into the iconic symbols of American finance and commerce. This time it wasn’t even the fanatical zealots from the Middle East but instead our own home grown variety of terrorists. Most were American born, indoctrinated with the teachings of an MBA instead of the Islamic fundamentalism. Their spiritual, if you can call them that, convictions were not based on some warped view of Allah but on avarice. They were on a mission from Wall Street and didn’t care if Main Street got in their way.

Financially speaking, they succeeded in ruinng the country. We are flat broke, borrowing from every resource and printing money as fast as we can. We are treading water. Millions of everyday Americans have suffered massive hits to their retirement accounts and to just about anything of value. And while some of the institutions that helped cause all this mess are going down in flames, those who worked there, aside from their personal inconveniences, seem hardly bothered at all.

The attacks on the World Trade Center was a tragedy. It was horrible in every aspect. Three thousand died and thousands more had their lives ruined. Family members, friends, associates, were all damaged by the loss. Americans from far away were shocked and horrified. For me, perhaps the worst thing was watching on television as in the aftermath, surviving family ran around with photos and posters of their loved ones in the vain hope that someone had seen them alive. Who can forget the workers in the building running away, covered with dust as the debris from the crumbling buildings rumbled behind them?

There were the leapers and the police and fireman, all suffering and dying from some demented ideology. We all know the story. We have seen it enough times, and we all know how we chased the culprits all over the world. Whether we did the smart thing, or the right thing, is something I will leave alone at the moment, in order to focus on our current debacle.

Because in many ways, this fiasco is much worst than 9/11. It has caused more damage, ruined more lives, and has created more terror, more uncertainty than that fateful attack, seven years ago. Millions are affected by this. Their savings are wiped out, their plans for retirement, for starting new careers, for funding their kids college money have all but vanished. The very country which most found solace and though the best in the world is teetering and in danger of becoming a second tiered nation.

There are criminal investigations already under way. If the Federal Law Enforcement services do their job, surely there will be indictments and convictions. If anything, there is no lack of malfeasance, but the malfeasance is so great it can overwhelm the Department of Justice. I’m sure there were be Federal Crimes, State Crimes and serious Civil Cases. And then of course there are those who did not really perform any criminal acts. Instead they were greedy and ruthless and cared not a wit for the average guy and his well being.

So when so many lives are ruined and the citizens are terrified, shouldn’t we then regard these transgressions as acts of terror. When you act deliberately and create circumstances that terrify the citizens, rendering them uncertain and insecure, shouldn’t this be regarded as the height of a terrorist act. And if our bankers, brokers, appraisers and all the other corrupt personnel that just had to get in on the party are to be regarded as terrorists, then perhaps we should consider sending them to the Guantanamo’s of the world. Let them sit there and instead of the Koran they can shuffle expired contracts around to their hearts’ content. Make them do penance, and force them to give intelligence and to rat each other out. I’m sure it wouldn’t take much to get them to do so.
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Hey, it’s just a thought. It’s also a thought that achieved fruition in the past centuries. Scalawags have been hanged, beaten, put into stocks, tarred and feathered. Our predecessor may have been onto something, especially in the way they treated those who betrayed the public trust. Oil may be a prohibitive expense, but tar is cheap enough, and you can recycle feathers out of old pillows. Their pillows.

Sure, I realize they are not the only ones to blame. You can blame our legislators for handing out favors and perhaps taking kickbacks to eliminate the inconveniences brought on by rules and regulations. Government oversight is just too gauche Let’s face it, you give people a license to steal, and they will steal.

We can blame ourselves, or some of us can blame ourselves, for wanting everything. For actually believing you can buy a house with no money down and teaser payments that amount to maybe a third of the monthly mortgage. We can blame ourselves for being gullible enough to believe houses will always appreciate and that we should use them for our piggy banks. Pull out the equity so that we can buy boats and cars, and other trinkets and beads. We can blame ourselves that a country this size can function as a consumer nation, where we don’t really make many things anymore but shuffle documents around that contain bad debt. Or we can live in denial and not blame ourselves at all.

But most of us know better. Most of us are seething how our public servants let us down and how Wall Street deceived not only us but the rest of the world. We are angry that we now have to dig deep and forgo our own debts to pay off theirs. I suppose it’s about now that all that shiny junk you bought on credit doesn’t look so good. Those custom shirts are starting to fade and fray, the fancy car is, well, just another car.

And we are still terrified. Because while we have had eight years of warning about terrorists, our own Quislings have taken us down. Terror now is going to the gas pump, or being in a small business and trying to borrow money for the coming season. Terror is sweating out the next couple of months on bad tires until you can afford to buy new ones. Terror is feeding your kids and putting shoes on your feet. And then should you get sick, then terror knows no bounds.

So what do we do with these craven beings who worked so hard to line their pockets out our expense. Some, ironically, will be rewarded for their failures. Rewards in this case are usually great than the money you may make in your lifetime. Others, I suppose will be downsized, drift away and look for new avenues. Perhaps the bloom is off the ethic of the MBA. Perhaps a new kind of reality has set in. Probably not. But then, they may really have no choice.

So what do we do with all the greedy stooges? Perhaps nothing. Perhaps the best thing we can do is vow as we have done with other great tragedies, that it will never happen again. Until the next time.

The Paparazzi Go Surfing

Last Thursday, several performers, testified at Los Angeles City Hall about the tribulations of the dreaded Paparazzi. Dutifully, the performers pronounced to City Councilman Dennis P. Zine’s stalwart task force how they were put upon, set upon and otherwise infringed upon by an uncaring, avaricious bunch of tabloid journalists who make their living following celebrities around. Of course no one offered how the Paparazzi could boost careers as well as hinder personal lives.

Sometimes getting photographed or getting written up in the tabloids is a trade off. You are annoyed, even hounded. Your business, as they say, it out on the street. But in return you receive more public exposure. It’s fair to say career have never really been made or broken by the Paparazzi. But careers have been boosted and lives have been damaged. The recent romp through the Beverly Hilton hotel and the subsequent cornering of former Senator and Vice Presidential Candidate, John Edwards, who had allegedly been visiting his mistress and love child, I’m sure did little to boost his chances for a cabinet position.

Then there is the recent situation up in Malibu where some of the youthful denizens decided to experiment with some notion of honor by intimidating the Paparazzi who were there to take photos of Matthew McConaughey who was surfing. I can well understand that McConaughey wanted his privacy but the notion of nobility among the privileged Malibu surfer dudes is about as laughable as another Brittany Spears beaver shot.

I remember when celebrities and aspiring performers had their publicists and managers tip the Paparazzi to ensure the tabloid media was present for whatever was deemed a seminal event. Like when dinner that night at Spago with a new love interest that would attract a lot more coverage than a mere dinner with friends. There was always some tipoff, some tempest in a teapot that could play out like scandal that the tabloids could embrace and for which the celebrity would benefit.
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I also remember hanging out for an hour or so with one famed Paparazzi photographer. He and his sometime partner were considered gruff and callous. They were infamous for taking photos in the most unusual ways, like one burying the other in sand and cover him with a newspaper, the popping out when the target strode past. Or using a really long lens to snare a shot of a really famous political personality who was topless on her private beach.

The day I sat with this photographer he showed me photographs he had taken not for the tabloids but for himself. They were photographs of famous people, of course. But the photos were sensitive and captured aspects of personality I hadn’t seen in other photos. There was one particular photo of the Kennedy matriarchy that was taken back when Rose Kennedy was still alive. The photographer had struck a bargain and offered that if the Kennedy women would pose for the photo, he would leave them alone. Well at least for the rest of the day. He took the photo and kept his word. They went on their way. The photo remains, and I still think about that photo from time to time. For the supposed gruff guy, the crass Paparazzi, there was artistic sensitivity working underneath.

But let’s face it, the world has changed and its hunger for photos and information about famous people defies all logic. I mean how much can you really care about someone else life? But more on that some other time. It is sufficient here to remark that celebrities have been hounded beyond any common dignity. Princess Diana was the most notable instance, and all conspiracy theories aside, what went on that fateful night in Paris’ Pont d’Alma Tunnel may have well been caused by an overzealous tabloid media.

The media can be ruthless. The path to celebrity can also be ruthless. When you sign aboard, you may get more than you bargained for. So at the end of the day, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the restaurant.

Federal Agents Have Mistaken Osama Bin Laden for a Pot Plant

I feel safer this week than I did last. Much safer. Why? Not because the intrepid strategists of our federal government arrested Osama Bin Laden. Not because they have vanquished the Taliban in Afghanistan. And certainly not because they arrested every violent street gang member in Los Angeles and shipped back the illegal gangsters to wherever it was that they came from.

Instead of all that, Drug Enforcement Agents raided a medical marijuana dispensary in Culver City. According to the Los Angeles Times, they arrested a single employee, a disabled former Marine. This daring raid occurred the same day the Appellate State Court in San Diego ruled that federal law does not preempt California’s Medical Marijuana Laws.

Now everybody knows there are two types that visit the medical marijuana dispensaries around California. There are the people who are genuinely ill or even terminal, who use it to relieve the ailments and side effects caused by any number of diseases and their associative treatments. And then there is everyone else.

Dispensaries are not hard to find. Often the big green neon marijuana leaf in the window serves as a definite giveaway. And their patrons are not hard to spot. Drive down any major street during the weekend and you will find pot customers patiently standing outside their favorite dispensaries, waiting for the place to open its doors. And getting the card that will give you legal permission to buy marijuana, from what I have been told, is not hard to obtain. You just talk to the doctor about your ailments, fork over some money, and here’s your card.

Now Culver City has a history. Many of the great and formerly great film studios are and have been located there. The old MGM, with its two Leo Lions at the entrance graced one part of Culver City. The studio’s famous musicals were all shot there, including “The Wizard of Oz,” where the Munchkins allegedly cavorted with sexual rhapsody, not having never before seen so many of their own kind in one place at one time. This tale is part of Hollywood myth or legend, depending on which you prefer.

Now that great MGM lot is part of Sony Entertainment. The old back lots, with all of the sets, from Andy Hardy to Biblical Epics, were long ago sold of for condominiums. The old Culver Studios enjoys yet another incarnation. And the curious can see the main building, which served as the exterior for Tara in “Gone With the Wind.” That Battle of Atlanta, Daryl Zanuck style, he being the producer of “Gone With the Wind,” was fought in Culver City. The famous train station sequence, with all the Confederate wounded lying in wait for the evacuating locomotives was shot on that land. Today the wounded could slake their thirst with a quick stop at Trader Joe’s.
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Other than action films, Culver City’s history is not particularly violent. It is not a dangerous community. In fact, it is anything but, since Culver City is enjoying a comprehensive rejuvenation. It is now a destination where film studios, old and new, coexist with trendy restaurants, movies theaters, the Kirk Douglas legitimate theater, boutiques, home furnishings outlets, and, apparently, a marijuana dispensary. The biggest danger is perhaps getting run over by a stroller, or clobbered by a hand holding couple too ensconced in romance to notice you walking in front of them. You may also suffer a seizure when you read the prices at some of the more trendy restaurants, or see how long the waiting line is for anything, anywhere.

But you won’t be mugged, chances are. And you wouldn’t notice the pot dispensary and the people buying their weed to either alleviate the pain or provide entertainment. But the Feds did notice. On the day the California Appeals Court ruled that the Federal agencies should concentrate on other things, like the rampant smuggling and the incumbent violence on the border. But that may prove a challenge.

Now it has been a long time since marijuana was any kind of issue to me. Age and responsibility has a way of supplanting certain desires. But if I was truly ill, or suffered the side effects I know friends of mine have suffered from, I would be thinking about something, anything, that would ease the pain and discomfort. If you are really sick or terminal you aren’t worried about dying from marijuana. If if it’d just to enjoy yourself, then arguments can be made for against its use or, more directly, adult use.

But that is not my argument. Mine is to wonder why we are bothering with this nonsense when we have so many other challenges. When we have real crime, and, as I noted earlier, the borders are rife with killing and smuggling. Thousands have died in the Mexican Drug Wars, and that war has spilled over into the States.

And then there is a matter of money. We are broke. We are borrowing money from China. And we are using it for what, exactly? By acting this misdirected, you would think the DEA is high on grass.