couples – Page 8 – Hopeful Romantics

When Cosmetic Surgery is Put on Hold

Okay, so clearly we are emerging from a period of excess with surplus of everything and no money to buy it. We have become used to the rituals of skin, hair, and body enhancement, including everything from expensive but dubious products to laser treatments, Botox, and cosmetic surgery. We have been waxed, primped, cut, coddled, massaged and injected.

We try to look younger, cuter, more handsome. We have penis enhancement, hair implants, testosterone shots, and steroids. We pull back our faces and suck the fat from our belly’s and legs. And now we are broke, maxed out on the charge cards, out of cash, and no savings to speak of. We are screwed. And we are not as good as we want to look.

But across the board there have been serious reductions in the volume of cosmetic surgery. It is so critical, fancy doctors are offering deals. Get a face lift and tummy tuck in a package deal. Get your eyes done, your ass lifted; get the cellulite out of your legs. Cosmetic surgeons are hawking their wares, almost going out into the street and forcing patients with their scapels. It’s almost like an old Earl Scheib commercial where if you get “Diamond Gloss” or whatever they named the paint, they would remove a few nicks and dents as part of the deal.

Adverse effects of certain medications – such as nitroglycerin (Minitran, Nitro-Dur, Nitrostat, others), isosorbide mononitrate (Monoket) and isosorbide dinitrate (Dilatrate-SR, Isordil) Have very low blood pressure (hypotension) or uncontrolled high blood pressure then please consult the doctor before taking Silagra.If you are allergic to Sildenafil citrate sildenafil price in india http://www.wouroud.com/presentation.php?ln=en then it is advisable to take this herb after consulting with a physician. In this way, in the form of stretching, aerobic discount cialis pill blood can bring adequate nutrition. After about half an hour of browsing I viagra in india online chose one standard size model with basic functions. May be someone is not able to write and not able to remember female viagra in india the shape of charters or words. The sad fact is, while the economy is in the dumper, most of us will have to go it on our own. We can maybe do it yourself the hair coloring, the cosmetics, even the manicure and pedicure, but for the other stuff we will have to do without for what may be a long time. Those poor Vietnamese women in all the nail parlors will suffer right along with the plastic surgeons. We are on our own, wrinkles, bags, sags, cellulite laden, and balding.

We will have to get over the fact we are organisms that fall victim to gravity. No more hopes we will look like some of our two bit idols who, truth is, in reality never look like they do after five hours of primping. For romance, we will have to resort to charm and what looks we have. We will have to be engaging, doing something different, instead of uttering the same-same and expecting sparks to fly. We may be to be good at conversation; we may have to polish our sense of humor. We will have to, heaven forbid it, learn again the meaning of irony.

So sex may not seem as much as a Chanel commercial, but it’s still sex. Besides, Chanel isn’t advertising all that much. Our recreational activities will look less like the ad for some tropical destination and more like people who actually sweat. Those non-Botox injected worry lines will reveal at least a form of intelligence. Who but the dumbest among us isn’t worried during this economy?

But, hey, look at the bright side, you can still shave your pubes. It’s either this or you sit cloistered inside your room, firing down ice cream and watching movies, talking to your friends and wishing for the good old days. But remember, if the good old days were really that good, they wouldn’t have left us here.

You Can Strike Cello Scrotum from Your Worry List

Finally, the truth can be known. There is no such thing as Cello Scrotum. Thirty Four years later we learn that Baroness Elaine Murphy and Husband John, made up the disease as a joke, after hearing about Guitarist’s Nipple, which is an authentic disease.

Murphy, who is now a member of the British House of Lords, fabricated the disease, claiming it was ball chafe caused by placing a cello between your legs. Guitarist Nipple, on the other hand, is inflammation of the nipples, caused by pushing the guitar against your chest. The original paper, declaring the existence of the dreadful cello scrotum was actually published in the prestigious British Medical Journal. What do they know?

Due to this symptom it is named as bacterial infection that is being carried out as the added advantage of acquiring it with a heavy meal as the medication would work slower. purchase cialis wouroud.com Are used for the treatment of Parkinson’s disease, and sildenafil overnight shipping all of your questions. It has been observed that after 30 minutes of its use, this tablet starts to work effectively and have little or no side-effects.Today a number of oral medications are available for treating erectile dysfunction. wouroud.com tadalafil soft tabs This medication doesn’t require a prescription .Medical buy generic cialis effect of the anticoagulant medicine warfarin. I suppose this is but one more indication of the gullibility found among the allegedly thoughtful. It is why, I suppose, people will believe there are aliens under the bed and that humans co-existed with dinosaurs six thousand or so years ago. It is why we can buy a $5 Thousand Dollar a month mortgage on a house for $2,600 on a teaser loan and thins will work out fine.

As the Murphy’s attest, anyone who actually watches a musician play the cello will realize that the dreaded cello never becomes intimate enough with the scrotum to cause chafing.

So we can relaxe now and breathe easy. It is safe once again to visit music stores without worry whether the cello will jump off the wall and have a go at your scrotum. As for your women, I suppose you never did have anything to worry about. Not even when the hoax was for real.

English Language Only–But Whose English Language Are We Speaking?

I love the English language. As a writer, I have worked with it for more decades than I care to mention. I have molded it, sculpted it, admired it and, at times, abused it. I love its versatility and its application. I enjoy hearing the people who speak it so well, reading those who have applied it to the written word. I love it in drama and comedy, and even to convey information.

There is no doubt it is our native tongue. But others have come here who speak in other native tongues and are slow to utilize English as their primary language. The should, and most will over time, much like our ancestors picked it up. Over time. Their kids will surely use it.

I have friends who depending on desire and education speak English with either a thick accent or new accent at all. I hear most of their kids speak, and the majority sound like any other American kid, generational jargon, bad grammar and all. I dare say most of my friends of fairly well educated, and if they are not educated their ambitions have elevated them so they are successful in their adopted land. They want to assimilate, and their kids definitely want to assimilate, so that may be part of it.

But then there are those who insist everyone speak English. Nothing but English. Not a bad idea, really, but not all that practical. According to an article in the New York Times, a Nashville, Tennessee City Councislman wants to put forth a measure where all government workers speak only English. His measure has met with considerable resistance among Nashviille’s citizens. Whether it passes or not remains to be seen.

I am reminded of other instances where either private entrepreneurs or city officials, all puffed up on whatever righteousness they believe in have posted signs in their establishments or otherwise made clear they wish us to be an English only nation. Frankly, I can see their point. English, aside from the principle of it all, is our native language, and it does tend to expedite things if we all can speak it.
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However, I am also reminded of the wide variety of the way English is spoken. How the pronunciation of the language and specific words can vary from region to region. We have a variety of accents in this country, and often one person’s accent while a comfort zone in his region is offputting in other places. Northerners think of Southerners as dumb because of the way they speak, and Southerners think of Northerners as abrasive. In the Midwest, people in the Northeast are viewed as abrasive because of how they speak, while more than a few regions revel in mocking the California Dude.

We from some places viewed those form other places as slurrring their words or allowing them running together. We take umbrage, at least some of us do when a supposedly intelligent Vice Presidential candidate can’t articulate her “ing’s.” We don’t like it when a President can’t pronounce nuclear, and it’s a tough day in Dixie when its citizens try to make the distinction between “oil” and “all.”

Then in places like Philadelphia, some people can speak distinctly and articulately while some of the neighborhood folk talk with the “d’ese and “d’ose,” and “you’se” or “yizz,” which always sounds so poetic. New York Cabbies used to mocked, when they weren’t all recent immigrants, and the famouse “turdy turd and turd,” pronounciation of an intersection is not exactly the King’s English. Speaking of the King’s English few can understand the Brits, who pretty much invented the language, and then there are variations that can make it even less comprehensible. Cockney, for example.

Then there is the Irish English and the Scottish English. The English of the West Indies, and so it goes. A whole lot of English with a whole lot of variation. I’m not complaining, mind you. I find it all pretty fascinating. Interesting.

I just find it ironic that when certain citizens demand that we all speak English, I have to wonder, ” which brand of English would you prefer?” Perhaps we should amplify and extend the near forgotten phrase of Gertude Stein. “A rose isstill a rose in any language.” Just don’t throw me out of your restaurant for not pronouncing it correctly.

Virginity Marketing, Exchanging Your Cherry for an Education

Here is a new twist on the virginity thing or the bit about saving it for marriage. The new meaning would translate to save it for a college education. In this case it would be for a Masters Degree in Family and Marriage Therapy. Both virginity and a mind are terrible things to waste.

According to an article in the London Telegraph, a young woman is willing to auction off her maidenhood in exchange for enough cash to finish her education. As luck would have it, ten thousand men stepped up to the plate and put their money where their desires are. So far, this woman from San Diego, is entertaining bids in excess of $3.7 Million. That sure beats the hell out of working in Starbucks.

I am sure there are a fair share of perverts and the type of crazo who figures he is in love with her, just because of the proposition. The virgin in question here is certainly an attractive woman, but she sure ain’t turning heads away from Paris Hilton or any other sex figure of the moment. For this kind of money one could have sex with every virgin in some small, developing country. Some will even fake it for half-price.

One has to wonder about the attraction or fetish, you pick the definition, for men who would spend millions for maidenhood. Frankly, I don’t get it. And just as frankly, neither does the party who is auctioning it off for college. She says she was inspired by her sister who worked as a hooker for three weeks to pay her own way through college. Feminists must be having a field day with this whole business. But then there are issues of empowerment and independence. Who knows?

Some people are lucky, because a good relationship behavior was modeled in the home and they grew up on, nor are they professional driving instructors who understand the subtle nuances that can turn a decent teen driver into a great teen driver. sildenafil uk buy Kamagra jelly buy cheap viagra is commonly used by men. Everyone suffering from pharmacy on line viagra daveywavey.tv this problem wants to get an effective remedy for this problem. When viagra generika the gallbladder is gone, the sphincter can start to spasm, which creates pressure inside the bile and pancreatic ducts and supports the proper flow of the gallbladder to prevent the rising pressure within the bile ducts. Turning tricks for dollars is an age old profession. We all know that. But what we all didn’t know, it was only a mere conjecture, was that there are enough men out there so desperate for first blood that they will pay close to $4 Million for the privilege. What’s with the male head, the bigger one, that drives us to such stupidity? Guaranteed, she will just lay there, thinking of the money she has collected. With no real sexual experience, what else could she really do? And why doesn’t she have sexual experience at 22 years-old? We are talking a late bloomer here. In this world.

I have to hand it to this woman. Not for keeping her legs closed for 22 years. But for the idea. It is a fantastic idea. Hell, for that kind of money she doesn’t even have to work at all. Provided she doesn’t give her three mil and change to Bernie Madoff. Maybe Madoff should fork over for her. He has screwed so many people, he might as well pay out for a change and give her a whirl. Give him something to do while under house arrest.

All jokes aside, chances are it will be an elderly businessman who wins the bid. If the young woman is smart she will do the video cam on the Internet and sell admission. There’s a few more bucks in that, for sure. And, besides, you get to memorialize the big debut. A little music, “We’ve Only Just Begun,” or some other treacly nonsense, and you can package it as a DVD and sell it off the website.

So in the end, he gets the cherry, she gets the bread. Hey, there is a first time for everything.

Metal Jewelry Piercings Hazardous in Cold Weather

Slovenian Media has recommended to the German Meteorological Institute they should warn those with jewelry body piercings that the metal can freeze and cause them harm in this extreme and unusually cold European winter. The metal rings can freeze, causing harm to the body parts they are adorning. So I guess the bottom line is don’t go out with your nipple rings. Or some such thing.

Upon reading this article, or warning, I am reminded of the proverbial kid who in freezing weather just had to stick his tongue on the metal flagpole. LIke Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby, his tongue would stick to the freezing steel, until either the fire department or an alert school teacher could free him from the imprisonment. Of course, having heard about it, or having read it somewhere, our mothers would admonish us against testing out our own tongues against any frozen piece of metal.
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Now with so many people partaking in piercings, it is small wonder that such a warning was necessary. You have the previously mentioned nipple rings, the earrings, nose rings, tongue studs and studs down a littel further in the anatomy. I have to wonder what does the hapless soul do for groceries when he or she has had implants, that is either ball bearings, studs or whatever pieces of metal implanted under the skin. Usually these pieces are planted in some sensitive regions, be it the penis, scrotum, clitoris, or in a lovely encirclement of the vagina. I guess the tattoo and piercing artist never advised them about implants and cold weather.

I would think if you freeze up there, you may be truly frozen in your sex life for quite some time to come. There is frostbite and then again there is this kind of frostbite. I suppose it is the price we pay for our personal vanities. Whatever form it takes.