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Shelly Berman and Lily Tomlin Are Finally Off the Cell Phone

Californians are finally acquiescing to the new laws prohibiting one handed cell phone use in the car.

California Moves to Curb Bad Habits of Motorists

By JENNIFER STEINHAUER

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LOS ANGELES — On any given day on a California freeway, it is not uncommon to see a young woman, phone cradled against one ear, carefully painting her nails a winsome shade of crimson, looking up now and then to inch her car forward in traffic.

Long commutes and a passion for the auto have long combined to make the California car a second home. But that way of life is being chipped away slightly, with a series of new laws — and more being contemplated by state legislators — that take aim at the bad habits of the state’s 22 million drivers.

Last week, California became the fifth state to require that all drivers use a headset with their cellphones. Drivers under the age of 18, under a separate law, may not use a wireless telephone of any form while operating a motor vehicle, a law shared with 13 other states. (Adults can be pulled over just for the cellphone infraction; teenagers have to be committing another offense to be cited for yakking.) For the entire article go to New York Times.com

Okay, we all know the story. Drive down the street and you see in almost every car someone talking on the phone. That someone might even be you. Whoever it is, they tie up traffic and cause accidents, losing their thoughts to their conversation, rather than driving.

True, we are a multi-tasking civilization. But there was a time when it actually required a modicum of focus to drive around in a two ton car. Now, suddenly, it seems we know longer require that focus. We, the population with the attention span of a demented newt, are suddenly not required to focus on little things like avoiding damage to life and limb. And property. Pretty amazing. Throw a TV in there, a computer, and hey, the same people that can’t walk and add at the same time are suddenly talking and driving with one hand clasped up to their ears.

No more. At least in California. According to this article, some are calling it a lifestyle change. Well, it is. Now you have to shut up and drive, or at least be able to drive with two available hands. No more of those ugly, wide swinging turns because you only have one hand to guide the wheel. No more gabbing to your friends that you just saw five minutes ago.

What is it, really? Are the distractions so necessary because we can’t bear to be alone? And how much is there to talk about? You hear people walking and talking on the street and in the super market, and, let’s face it, no great nuggets of wisdom are being issued through the cell phone speaker. So shut up and drive, and stop whining about it.

Some like to argue that it is not the one handed driving that results in accidents, but rather the distraction. Yeah, sure. Maybe both. But common sense dictates that controlling a car with one hand free is more difficult, come and emergency, than driving with two. You wouldn’t scale a cliff with one hand, would you? Unless you were a one armed cliff climber. Not many of those around. You wouldn’t make love with one hand. Unless you were making that love to yourself. You wouldn’t dress with one hand or cook with one hand. You wouldn’t fight with one hand or shop with one hand. So what makes you think you can drive with one hand?

Some complain the law is too harsh. Oh, my. I don’t think it is nearly harsh enough. Forget about the fines. I truly believe that for first offense, getting caught driving with a cell phone up to your ear, is punishable by having that cell phone shoved deep enough into your posterior that the vibration setting has sexual overtones. For second offense, it can be removed with a chainsaw. Anybody with me on this? Probably not. Oh well, we’ll just have to go for the fines.

Despite the fines, the law and the rest of it, when you drive through the streets of LA you still see people one handing their cell phones. I guess they believe it is their right to do so. It seems it’s always a certain type of ignoramus that didn’t read the memo.

Well, here’s a word of advice. Shelly Berman, noted stand up comedian made a comic act out of using the phone. Very funny. Lily Tomlin, as the immortal Ernestine, did a wonderful sequence of comic sketches using the telephone. I’m sure I am forgetting others. But as for you, unless you have a great comic act or in some way can achieve immortality by employing the cell phone, only use it hands free while driving. It’s not only the law, but it’s also the smart thing to do. Who knows? Maybe when you are off the phone you may actually take time to look around and enjoy the moment.

Sex acts on Provincetown beaches prompt outrage

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Frisky sun worshipers are flocking to have sex on the beach in Provincetown – but are sending horrified family vacationers packing, officals said.

Angry Cape Cod National Seashore officials said they are cracking down on public sex acts along the picturesque shoreline after the number of citations for public sex acts more than tripled, from an average of 40 to 132 last year. For the entire article go to bostonherald.com

All right, most of us have got to admit that this is pretty funny. Maybe not to the officials and some of the people of Provincetown. And surely not to the particular tourists who are offended by such visual stimuli. But the notion of various beach goers engaging en masse in sexual congress is reminiscent of the seals here in California comporting on the rocks in similar fashion.

No doubt, I can see where this offensive. I can see also where this is painful to the participants. Beach sand has a way of abrading the sensitive parts of the body, even when you are just lying there, taking in the sun. So this exhibitionist display has to rank somewhere between horniness, desperation and a touch of masochism thrown in.

We as a culture are imprinted with some of the more memorable sex scenes. The film, “From Here To Eternity,” ranked among the first and foremost, with Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr rolling around in the moonlit Hawaiian sand. It was pure romance, very hot and the kind of visage that has been talked about for years. But then the beach was deserted, the sex took place at night, or at least day for night, and it was only the two of them. Burt looked great and so did Deborah Kerr. If you are going to stare at two people making love, then that was, indeed, a good place to do the staring. And then of course there was the romantic, musical strings to accessorize the act.

But this, they say, is far from a deserted beach. It is not at night, but in broad daylight. No flashlights required for viewing. And for the most part the people don’t really look like Deborah Kerr and Burt Lancaster. They look more like Floyd and Lloyd. And even then neither Floyd nor Lloyd has the build and looks of Burt Lancaster. Few do.

As for the romantic music. Hardly the lush strings of a cinema score, if there is music at all. Probably the main background sound is that of mournful sound of Fiddler Crabs, bemoaning their territorial losses. And at best the music is probably tinny in sound; it is the beach after all.

The whale watchers may be getting more than they bargained for, as do the families out for a picnic by the sea. It’s quite possible that if the Pilgrims who first landed at the not all that far away Plymouth Rock stumbled on this grunting tableau they might not have canceled out the new world concept and sailed on back to the old one. They were puritans, after all.

Part of the better ethic is to leave a place as you found it. In this case, leaving it sane, secure, and capable of conducting businesses without hearing a raft of complaints. With the economy bad enough, there is no reaosn for the insensitive to drive away the much needed business of any community.

Then there is the matter of aesthetic sensibilities, since this group groping does little to enhance it. And then the beach is a public place to be enjoyed by everyone without having to witness bad taste from any sector. I suppose, in the end, the group gropers should heed the time honored admonition and “get a room.”

Hang ‘Em High

Botox Lifts: The Next Breast Thing?

Cosmetic Toxin Used To Improve A Woman’s Posture, ‘Lift Up’ Breasts

Plastic Surgeons Disturbed By Practice, Warn Against ‘Off-Label’ Uses

By STEVE FINK, WCBSTV.COM

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NEW YORK (CBS) ― It is one of the most powerful, poisonous, and paralytic proteins known to man, yet why is dermatologic wonder-drug Botox – the cure-all phenomenon that’s taken the cosmetic world by storm – being injected into women’s breasts these days?

“Dermatologist to the Stars,” Dr. Patricia Wexler, proudly advertises the answer to that question at her Manhattan practice. The Murray Hill-based doctor, who has her own cosmetic line and has been featured on “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” recently began offering Botox injections in the breast as a quick-fix for women who want to non-invasively give their breasts a temporary lift.

For the entire article go to wcbstv.com

Perhaps in some parts of the world, or at least in this country, there will be some who view this doctor as a bold new pioneer. And it may be true. Those women who wish to engage in the eternal war against gravity may find Botox injections to the breast a most useful weapon in their arsenal.

But then by the same token when scientific studies are starting to report the potential harmful effects of botox, I think it would give one pause before she stuck her breasts with a particular chemical solution that starts its own career in the universe as Botulinun toxin ,a deadly poison. In fact, as Wikipedia points out, it is one of the more deadly toxins in the world. A small amount can kill you.

It is deadlier than strychnine, which nearly everyone regards as a deadly poison. While it would take about six metric tons of strychnine to kill everyone in the world, it would take only a few hundred grams of botulinum to do the same nasty job. On lesser levels, meaning illness resulting in less than death, botulinum, even of the cosmetic variety, can cause muscle paralysis or such pesky little difficulties as respiratory failure, drooping eyelids or the ability to smile. While a small quantity of unadulterated botulinum can result in death and, as botulism, which is food ingested, can result in serious illness, we know little about the side effects about the extended effects of the cosmetic variety.

Only now are the suspicions about the cosmetic variety starting to emerge. What happens over time, well we just don’t know. But, hey, until the other shoe drops, you will have no worry lines and a really nice rack. Of course we may prove our suspicions that with enough injections the cosmetic form does travel into your brain stem. This is a bad thing, by the way, for those less initiated in diseases of the world. It is rumored that you actually do need a working brain, although after spending a day in LA traffic, you can’t necessarily prove it by me. What breast injections would do over time to a pair of breasts, may be equally as alarming.

I hardly blame anyone for trying Botox, the best known, as well as the other cosmetic versions of bolulinum that are manufactured by a variety of companies. There is a great deal of pressure on women not to age and to look good. Then there is the matter of vanity, sexual attraction and the self-awareness that you can still turn heads when you enter a room.

On top of which, there are a great deal of medical applications for the drug. It is used for excessive sweating, excessive peeing in children, and TMJ disorders. TMJ deals with your jaw and is painful and annoying. Any help is welcome help. The drug is also used for diabetic neuropathy and for healing wounds. So, like many other things, you have to take the bad with the good, right?

And there really is no actual bonafide proof that injecting cosmetic forms of botulinum has any adverse effects. Rumors, maybe. Suspicions. Empirical evidence. In conclusive studies. But no real proof. While I hat to rain on anyone’s parade, I remember the years spent in the great cigarette to lung cancer debate. In fact, back in the days of your I worked very briefly for a research group that was contracted by the tobacco lobby in an effort to prove cigarettes were not harmful to your health. So perhaps it will take a few more decades before we really know anything about the cosmetic effects of botlunim. It’s not like our usual study group, prison inmates who volunteer as subjects for such research, have a big desire to eliminate their frown lines or hike up their hooters.

The thing is that while we have a ribbon for nearly everything, including a pink ribbon for breast cancer, we contemplate injecting toxins into our bodies that may prove fatal or result in any matter of diseases. There is no doubt breast cancer, or any cancer, is a serious disease and warrants maximum concern. We are warned about BPA in plastics, phtalatesin cosmetics and perfumes, detergents, etc. We freak over the parabens in shampoos in skin care and hair care product. And we have fund raisers for those stricken by the variety of diseases these chemicals appear to bring on. But yet, while parade, have walks, runs, marathons, we turn around and pay good money in rough economic times to shoot a deadly toxin into our bodies. Are we not a schizophrenic world, or what?

Well, so far we have not selected a ribbon color for those suffering from long term complications of having cosmetic botulinum seeping into the brain stem. So far, anyway.

When Straight People Come Into Gay Neighborhoods

Necessity may be the Mother of Invention. But it is also proving to be the Mother of Accomodation and Tolerance. See article and comments below–

Straight Guys (No, Really—They’re Straight) Are Finding A Home In Gay Sports Leagues

by Cyd Zeigler Jr.

June 17th, 2008

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Alon Hacohen had been playing football in adult leagues for years, but as guys hit their thirties, they had kids and moved to the ‘burbs. By chance, an online search for a league that played exclusively in Manhattan led Hacohen to “New York Flag Football.” A year later, he got a response—from the “New York Gay Flag Football League.”

Working in the flower industry, Hacohen, who is 36 and in a committed relationship with a girlfriend, was always comfortable around gay men, but even so . . . “I was reticent—not because it was a gay league, but I was used to a high level of play,” he recalls. “After the first pick-up game, there were guys who could really play, and I got excited.”

Hacohen was the first straight player in the league’s very first season in 2005. Now it has more than 200 members— including about a dozen straight guys who play “fag football” every season. The gay Big Apple Softball League fields some teams that are more than half straight. Estimates place the gay-bowling league at around 20 percent straight. In fact, every gay-sports league in the city probably has at least one straight player.

For the complete article go to the Village Voice.

It has been said many times that necessity is the mother of invention. It is also proving to be the mother of tolerance and accommodation. Upon reading this article, a good one, I was reminded of how this would play out just a decade or two ago,yet alone in the ancient times of lore.

More so, I thought of all the straight couples who are now moving into what are predominantly gay neighborhoods. At first it was surprising to see the appearance of strollers in such California neighborhoods as West Hollywood, in Los Angeles, and the Castro District, in San Francisco. But now it is commonplace.

Since I am a Californian I am well aware that these are not only safer neighborhoods with easy access to the markets, shops and all the other stuff we browse and buy, but these neighborhoods are well maintained. You get a lot of bang for your buck when you buy or lease housing in these neighborhoods. Small wonder straight couples are moving in with little junior. Unlike in previous years, a new generation of couples has no problem exposing young child to alternate lifestyles, namely the gay lifestyle. Most could care less and actually seem to welcome the diversity.

So on one hand you have straight athletes crossing over and playing in gay sports leagues, and here you have young couples raising their children happily in what used to be the forbidden zones. In West Hollywood in particular, you can guide your child and stroller past ever so tasteful landscaping and houses that were nicely renovated and reflective of a truly lovely environment. It seems as if there is a Pink Berry on every corner, so no child will be denied his treat.

What adds to the overall milieu are the gay couples who have for the most part adopted children, some are left over from earlier liaisons, also pushing strollers and holding hands with young toddlers as they take them shopping etc. It is also easy to find people who will work on your house, and for the most part these neighborhoods are in the city and close to employment.

So at the end of the day, if you want to live in a good neighborhood, some of the best neighborhoods are gay neighborhoods. So, hey, the necessity of finding a nurturing environment has led to tolerance and accommodation.

In a world this crazy and with all the nasty things we witness, this is truly a nice thing to see.

Same Sex Marriages May Prove a California Revenue Windfall

ARSENIO IS A FILIPINO GAY rights activist residing in San Francisco. In 2004, he married his partner in a same-sex marriage ceremony during the time San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed marriages for same-sex couples. That marriage, however, was declared null and void by the California Supreme Court on Aug. 12, 2004.

Arsenio and his partner eventually separated.

Since then, the California Supreme Court has had the chance to re-visit the issue of same-sex marriages. This month, the California Supreme Court rendered a new decision legalizing same-sex marriages. This decision will take effect on June 17, 2008.

Gay-friendly SanFo

Being a US citizen, Arsenio wants to petition a new partner, a Filipino citizen. If he will marry his Filipino citizen partner, will he be able to confer US immigration benefit by petitioning him as a spouse?

For the complete article go to Global Nation

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I have no real need to argue either the merits or the alleged dangers of same sex marriage. As more than one pundit has offered, “Gay people have the right to be just as miserable as straight people.” As for the sanctity of marriage, well, hey I am part of a background checking company. We see a lot of bad news, including all the domestic violence. And then there are the sexual offenders who we discover during preemployment screening. We see what they have been up to and how they move around to avoid detection. And more than a few are married. But I digress.

I was listening to public radio earlier this afternoon and the announcer said projections for California as a result of same sex marriages surpasses $1 Billion over the next three years. Now, even with the weak dollar and inflation, a Billion Bucks is still a nice chunk of change.

Some may argue we Californians will be selling our souls to get that million. I think it’s more like hotel rooms and catered affairs we are selling. And I’m quite sure there will be same sex excursions to our them parks, so even Disneyland will profit by the recent State Supreme Court ruling.

I’m sure that Gay people from across the United States will flock to California. Let’s face it, weather wise, it is better than getting married in Massachusetts. In California you can be reasonably sure your lovely outdoor ceremony won’t be rained out. But, yes, Massachusetts is the other state where same sex marriages are legal. Some thought the entire state would roil in the bowels of hell, but truth is the Celtics seem to be winning the Basketball Championships, so God can’t be all that upset. And even if the Celtics lose, it would be to the Lakers, who are in the other same sex state,. Pretty much a win-win in the same sex karmic scope of things.

Build it they will come. Pass it, and they will marry. So here they come. To marry. To honor the right to be just as miserable in marriage as any straight couple. So be it.

And if you are thinking of marriage, or you are dating and getting serious, straight or gay, you may want to run a background check to make sure you are not getting in deep with what may turn out to be the wrong kind of girl. Or guy. Whatever.