Revolution and the Loss of Soft Toilet Paper

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Some years ago I used to joke that America would only launch a revolution should we encounter such catastrophes as the loss of our favorite toilet paper.   Forget the Tax Day Tea Parties and the grousing over bankers’ bonuses.   Those are but minor episodes when compared to the prospect of harsh toilet tissue.  Now it seem there is some truth to that remark, according to an article in the U.K.’s Guardian.

The article maintains that Americans have a love affair with soft toilet paper is made from virgin wood.  Not remnants, nor any recycled material, but pure tree.  In other countries, toilet paper is made from as much as 40% recycled material, but not here.  Here in order to swipe our buttocks in the comfort to which we are accustomed, we need pure, virgin wood for that extra quilted ultra-soft, muti-layered roll of bathroom tissue we reach for with little concern.

Sure, we may make noise about saving the environment, and we go on about saving the trees and developing non-fossil energy forms, but in the end we waste a precious resource each time we wipe our end.    To support this issues, a study reports that there was a 40% increase in the costlier brand of toilet paper in 2008.   The premium brands are often infused with hand lotion or aloe vera.   Seems everything contains aloe vera, these days, but I digress.
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As American we already consume more paper than any other country.   It is one thing to use the precious resource for developing majestic theories of life on earth, but quite another to waste itour  on our bodily waste.   With companies spending millions of dollars every year telling us their premium brands  are far superior to the recycled stuff, it is small wonder softer toilet paper is more precious to us than say our Hummers.

I once had an assistant whose very demanding metrosexual boyfriend insisted she run around the city picking up the household products he most desired.   His favorite bathroom tissues was sold, it seemed, at bulk rates at only one big box store.   This tissue was infused with the notorious aloe verga gel.   So to keep him happy, a tough task on a good day, my assistant had to use up what little spare time she had running across town to buy him toilet paper.  Not only was she wrecking trees, but burning gasoline in these senseless journies.

Perhaps this recession is the time when we get our heads on street or at least take our head out of our you know where.  Maybe we will see the light and find we really don’t need to be using virgin wood to accommodate our daily needs.   We can remove our heads from our pampered derrieres and replace them with paper made from recyled products.

The Tax Day Tea Party Ain’t No Revolution

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Yesterday was the Tax Day Tea Party.   Thousands gathered in dozens of different cities to protest the increasingly difficult tax burden on the average citizen.   The protesters gave speeches, held up signs, and threw symbolic tea bags into the waters of the nation.

As what be the case if you threw tiny tea bags into the larger waters of the nation, the Tax Day Tea party was weak.   The call it a Tea Party and model it after the famed Boston Tea Party that helped start the revolution only trivializes itself further.    Despite the homemade signs and the populist atmosphere, this paled in the face of its relative namesake.

For one thing the Colonists took risks.  They didn’t  give speeches or hold up signs.   They stormed the ships by force or sheer volume of numbers and hurled large containers of tea into the Boston Harbor.   They were unruly and destructive.   They defied the law.   They cost the shipping companies money, and they really annoyed the British ruling elements who saw the colonies as their own.

They even dressed like Indians, or Native Americans, if you will, as a vague disguise.   The costumes alone were in themselves a flagrant reproach to British authority.   They did things that could have had them fined or thrown in jail.  In the short of it, they were pissed off, and they showed it.

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Let’s face it taxes are insane.  People are hurting and the economy is terrible.  People can barely make it through yet pay for the entitlement programs and myriad expenditure legislators have seen to dump upon us for better or for worse.   When you can’t afford to feed your kids or send your kids to college, then it is tough justifying contributions to what in most minds are abstract rake-ins from every tax branch for reasons ranging from the understandable to the dreadfully ineffective.

But still, calling this a Tea Party?   It’s ironic that the conservative crowd who allegedly takes greater pride in American History saw fit to undermine a great moment in our revolutionary circle with this tepid act.   I understand they want to obey the law, but that in itself contradicts the intent of our forefathers who smashed open the crates and dumped the tea into the harbor.   You can wave a sign, sing a song and otherwise act contrary, but by no means can you hold a proverbial candle to the brave souls who over two hundred years ago boarded those ships in the Boston Harbor.

I’m all for civil disobedience when it is necessary.  If one is an American, then one should believe in revolution.  It is, after all, how this country was born.    But to reference this protest as a Tea Party is like giving every kid in tee-ball a trophy.   You want to have civil disobedience, then have it.  You want to be lawful and make a few speeches, then you can do that.   But don’t confuse the two.

Because if you do, then our forefathers will wonder if you have  a pair, or if they are merely tea bags hiding under your breeches.

Traveling Through Life on a Mobility Scooter

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Ever since a recent trip to Las Vegas, I noticed more and more people driving mobility scooters.   We are not talking about sexy Vespas here, hearkening back to the classic French and Italian films of the sixties, where young lovers tooled around Rome and Paris on their two cycle models.   We are not even talking about the upgrades, the current scooters serving as answers the stratospheric price of gasoline and the lack of parking in the cities.  Instead, what is under discussion are these boring little machines that look insipid when a big rear end is hanging over its seat.

I didn’t even know mobility scooters existed until several years ago when I first noticed late night cable commercials on the television.   The company that was selling these contraptions assure the prospective buyer that if the advertiser believed the person qualified for one on their health care policy and were later turned down, then the advertiser would give the customer one for free.  You can’t beat that.

The commercials which saturated the cable stations demonstrated the mobility scooters ease of use, and how easily it stored in the trunk.   The commercials showed happy old people who were otherwise unable to get around living what was described as a normal life thanks to their new set of wheels and rechargeable electricity.   Here they were shopping, riding through the park, playing with the grandchildren.   Or here they were sitting around three four of them, like geriatric bikers, chatting it up in the retirement sunshine.

Naturally, I believe these mobility scooters were for people who couldn’t walk because they were either handicapped or so ravaged by age their legs could no longer be trusted.  This in itself was a good thing, until I saw my own mother try  out the courtesy scooter  in a Trader Joe’s and nearly run over four people and a display stand of boxed cookies.  It gave me pause. During what must have seemed to the store clerks as her interminable stint around the aisles I was laughing too hard to be embarrassed.  Comedy today is wherever you can find it.

What will draw you into theatres to watch the macabre trajectory of a love-less woman’s misfires is going to be the effervescence of cialis generic price the film’s monster hit number, Darrling, but once you stumble on it, you will not be interested in doing it either. Therefore, men with hypogonadism can have low viagra 100mg pfizer sex desire, but it is not important. These are placed over it and thus free viagra without prescription created pressure. Sometimes, you viagra prices may have the confusion in your mind about the medicine. But I digress.  Since the mobility scooters first came on the scene, I have seen them everywhere.  I have seen them on Sunset Boulevard here in Los Angeles; I have seen additional courtesy mobility scooters added to the Big Box stores.   I have seen what appeared to be caravans of them in Las Vegas, parading down the sidewalks or along the thoroughfares inside the casinos.   Given the economy and a handful of other things, that has to be the perfect statement to the downside of our culture.  One of them, anyway.  We are scootering to hell in a hand basket.

What gets me is that these are not necessarily people who are unable to walk.   These are people who are either too lazy to walk or too fat to want to try.   These are people who could walk but would rather zip around on their mobility scooters.   Whether or not they actually buy them or get their health care plants to write them off is another matter.  If health care is picking these things up, then we are paying for them as well as part of our increased health care payments.

As the cost of health care goes up, fewer people can afford it.  We’re talking here about people who actually need health care.  Not just so they can get a mobility scooter and tool around without having to bother putting one foot in front of the other.   We’re talking about families who are priced out of health care payments because, among other things, the mobility scooters add to the overall costs.

But then we are a society where we believe people have the right to be lazy and indulgent.  Where they can eat what they want, drink what they want, smoke it up, and then complain to, say the airlines that the seat belt isn’t large enough to go around their bellies.

So in spite of our anger over Wall Street, the mortgage fraud schemes, banking, and whatever else is working on our nerves, some of us, don’t seem to get it.  We will run up the health care cost for no other reason than we are too lazy to walk and too indulgent to lose the weight that allows them to walk.   We can talk about our rugged individuality and all that good old American jingo, but with some of us, anyway, instead of climbing back up the mountain, we are puttering along on a scooter.

Will the Anger Over AIG Turn Into the Boston Tea Party?

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Everyone you know is upset over the $165 Million in bonuses that are to be awarded to the executives at AIG.   That is, of course, after the Federal Government just laid out some $170 Billion in tax payer’s money to keep the company afloat.  People are really pissed off.  In fact, even some of our fair legislators are outraged, despite the fact that they did take tax deductible campaign contributions from AIG and floundering companies just like it.

Of course,  there are those who believe they deserve the bonuses.   Mostly these are AIG executives who want their reward for the once venerable  company into the ground.   After all, in the American vernacular of the modern age,they did their best.   There are also those from other distressed companies who may perceive the  public outrage over  the AIG bonuses as an ominous sign that their unfair share of the nation’s wealth may also be in jeopardy.   No dessert for you, this day.

There are also the conservative pundits who believe this is an encroachment on private enterprise and the free market.   This is the government in coercion, forcing socialism and worse on the American worker and, consequently, the American spirit.   This is the misuse of the law and a rotten precedent.   This is excellent fodder for self righteous blowhards of every stripe to vent their ire on radio, television and publications throughout the nation.   It’s a cottage industry.   Corruption is in season.   Get your say while you can.

I would be just one more of them.   That is, unless I was concerned with a more universal aspect to this scenario.  Something historical.   I go back to my earlier notation that the public is really pissed off.  In fact, they haven’t been this angry since O.J. Simpson was acquitted of killing his former wife.   They haven’t been so miffed since the retailers ran out of Cabbage Patch Dolls at the height of the holiday season.   I mean, this is big anger.

So what becomes of this anger?  Does it grow being this issue, or does it fade away and we go back to watching American Idol?   Does that good old American lynch mob mentality start to manifest, or do we end up suffering from ennui?  Is our collective attention span still strong enough to allow this anger to galvanize behind the larger issues of corruption and irresponsibility among our fearless leaders?

Does someone finally channel this anger, so their is a voice behind it?  Is it diffused by the multiple, myriad viewpoint talking heads that occupy our eyeballs and airwaves?   These are are lot of questions, I know.   But one night friends and I were chatting about this very thing.   What does it take anymore to generate a Boston Tea Party? And the thing is about the Boston Tea Party, does it lead to revolution in one form or another.  Probably not, but who knows.
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The conversation among friends, recalled the other revolutions turned catastrophic   The American Revolution was fairly ethical and prudent, restrained overall.  It was a revolution with established goals and once those goals were achieved, the rancor for the most part settled in to debate and some shouting until compromise was reached.   We didn’t have a counterrevolution, and after the war was won and the exhausted British Army picked up its catcher’s mitt and went home, we didn’t lop heads.  We set about to making a country.  Most of us fail to realize how marvelous that is.   How lucky we are.   And despite aging into debt to buy cheap clothes from China and our scarfing down the Grand Slam Breakfast, how smart we have been.

Not the same with other countries.  France had its revolution then a few  counterrevolutions.  Russia did the same thing.  There were others.   Castro’s Cuba was hardly gentle in its making.   One wonders what is that about.  Certain their is a different of opinion, which in turn leads to power plays and spurious opinions about how the ends justify the means.

But then maybe the slow rise of anger and the eventual mob mentality created instead a blood lust.   Simply put, people liked watching heads roll out of the guillotine.   Maybe the lynch mob mentality and the blood lust overtook the more civil side, the passivity that the motley masses, especially, tend to experience.  Maybe once the anger rises, things can and do get out of hand.   Then perhaps there is no way to stop it.

The American Revolution is the exception, in fact the anomaly.   More commonplace is the satisfaction of blood lust and the desire to get even.  After awhile, getting even is not perceived in just political terms but as a means of exorcising the personal demons.    And then everyone becomes suspect.  Minorities, gays, oddities, artists, all become fodder for the erratic and destructive sensibility.   The  innocent are sacrificed  with and tossed on the pyre to accommodate the blood lusts.

Mind you, I don’t see that happening.  Just yet.  Or not at all.   But that kind or outrage, if not addressed and quenched in its early stages, like a locomotive, is slow to get rolling and is awfully tough to stop.   Nations have torn themselves apart over it.  Enlightened nations.

So I guess that despite the media frenzy and the obvious statements of the obvious issues about corruption and greed, we should examine the larger picture.   Before we get worked up, are we channeling that anger in the right direction.  Are we looking for justice or in the mood for the Boston Tea Party?   Or will we not be satisfied until we see the Reign of Terror supplant Mixed Martial Arts on pay-per-view?    Now that’s what some might call a bonus.

When Fashion Boutiques Go Bust

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Anyone with a few brain cells left floating between their ears understands that the economy is lousy and times are tough.   They may not know why that happened, or, like most, they may be blaming any number of things.   But the rich are feeling the pinch and those who were pretending to be rich or were rich for twenty minutes, are discovering they can no longer afford what they are used to having.

So the independent boutiques are suffering.  The same great fashion forward, taste making, trendsetting, repositories of cutting edge fashion are looming as an endangered species.   The same tony venues that brought such clothing designers as Giorgio Armani, Jil Sanders, and Dries Van Nooten to the American consciousness are faced with the reality of customers who can’t afford the goods they sell.

While the department stores are faced with the lack of customers, the big guys can offer incentives that the little goes are uncapable or presenting.   Instead they have to cut budgets, which means ordering less stock, or ordering stock on consignment.   They must haggle with their star designers to get cheaper pricing and extended payment terms.

This is not the way of the fashion forward boutique.   A few years ago, hell, even a year ago, most would look at you funny if you wanted to buy something for a mere hundred bucks.   The sales people would smirk at your ignorance, if you seemed either unprepared or less aware of the newest, latest, greatest new names making their presence felt on the runways.   But now the duties alone on some of the imported clothing can put the price points out of range.

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Surely the rich will still buy fashion.  Although, surveys reveal the rich may buy the same brands, but they are not buying the quantity they did before.   As for those consumers buying over their heads, they are drowning.  And the great purveyors of cutting edge fashion are falling by the wayside, one by one.

New designers will come along.  Deisgners who can sell cheap enough or have domestic roots, eliminating the need for the surcharge related to duties.   These will be designers who may make clothes that are rugged and built to last.  No little nothing shoes for $1 Thousand Bucks that can barely make it through a season.  And forget those $5 Thousand Dollar bags.   As for jewelry, if you want to wear expensive bangles and bling, you are liable to get robbed.   Others out there don’t really care who designed it.  Only that it can buy them another meal, or another fix.

But new designers will emerge.  Over time they will be pronounced the new kings and queens of the runway.  They will influence our sense of aesthetics and impact our lives.   And then they too are liable to out price themselves, putting their fashion sense just out or reach of their adoring public.   The retailers who believed in them, who heralded them, and introduced them in their shops, will be faced again with another crisis.   People who need to be cool but who can’t afford to pay the price.

High School was never this stressful.