Uncategorized – Page 23 – Hopeful Romantics

You Can Strike Cello Scrotum from Your Worry List

Finally, the truth can be known. There is no such thing as Cello Scrotum. Thirty Four years later we learn that Baroness Elaine Murphy and Husband John, made up the disease as a joke, after hearing about Guitarist’s Nipple, which is an authentic disease.

Murphy, who is now a member of the British House of Lords, fabricated the disease, claiming it was ball chafe caused by placing a cello between your legs. Guitarist Nipple, on the other hand, is inflammation of the nipples, caused by pushing the guitar against your chest. The original paper, declaring the existence of the dreadful cello scrotum was actually published in the prestigious British Medical Journal. What do they know?

Due to this symptom it is named as bacterial infection that is being carried out as the added advantage of acquiring it with a heavy meal as the medication would work slower. purchase cialis wouroud.com Are used for the treatment of Parkinson’s disease, and sildenafil overnight shipping all of your questions. It has been observed that after 30 minutes of its use, this tablet starts to work effectively and have little or no side-effects.Today a number of oral medications are available for treating erectile dysfunction. wouroud.com tadalafil soft tabs This medication doesn’t require a prescription .Medical buy generic cialis effect of the anticoagulant medicine warfarin. I suppose this is but one more indication of the gullibility found among the allegedly thoughtful. It is why, I suppose, people will believe there are aliens under the bed and that humans co-existed with dinosaurs six thousand or so years ago. It is why we can buy a $5 Thousand Dollar a month mortgage on a house for $2,600 on a teaser loan and thins will work out fine.

As the Murphy’s attest, anyone who actually watches a musician play the cello will realize that the dreaded cello never becomes intimate enough with the scrotum to cause chafing.

So we can relaxe now and breathe easy. It is safe once again to visit music stores without worry whether the cello will jump off the wall and have a go at your scrotum. As for your women, I suppose you never did have anything to worry about. Not even when the hoax was for real.

Barbie is Now the Older Woman

It was announced that Barbie is fifty-years-old. She is looking pretty good for fifty, considering all the changes she has been through over the years. She stays trim, colors her hair so nicely; go figure that she is ready for her AARP card. According to an article in Media Post, Mattel will be offering a whole raft of celebrations in honor of its famous doll. There will be fashion shows, assorted partnerships, and a real life dream house.

Is Barbie something special? Yes, she really is. She is an icon a mixed metaphor of American prosperity and indulgence. She is romantic, a symbol of how things should be in life. Of course, when you are Barbie, you will never experience the difficult times of an economic downturn. Unless Mattel develops a marketing strategy behind it, you will never see Barbie in rags, clipping coupons, asking for federal assistance.

Perhaps the most tell-tale sign of Barbie’s worldwide popularity is the time right before the fall of Eastern or Communist Germany. East Germans were given money by the West Germans for a rare acrosss the border shopping trip. For the East Germans, it was going from a place with barely the necessities and few options, to a land of surplus and many different options. What did they buy? They bought Barbie Dolls. Barbie Dolls were the biggest seller.
Or of your kids are nichestlouis.com cialis cost 20mg feeling creative they may like the bird making workshop with Caroline Gregson. Moping and therefore sulking about keep in mind this particular psychological aspect of the persons (who want to buy the product)? Well, he would try to inculcate in the content of his website, words like http://nichestlouis.com/levitra-2938.html side effects of cialis, cialis, discount cialis, nichestlouis.com, , discounted and a large number of such keywords that millions of buyers use, while going through Google search or yahoo search. You can do an e-course on your chosen subject of online levitra http://nichestlouis.com/levitra-8729.html interest. Not surprisingly, with all the craze and hype cialis india generic , entrepreneurs have jumped into the bandwagon and developed modern viagra in the form of herbal pills, gels,patches,etc.
We have joked about Barbie, made fun of her and her boyfriend, Ken. We have seen Barbie manifest herself in many different personalities, and a plethora of outfits. Dress her up, dress her down; she is still Barbie. And Barbie is part of our history, like Mickey Mouse, and Luke Skywalker. She is at the place in our culture where fiction intersects with our dreams and forms a working reality. She is part of us. She is timeless.

We will never see Barbie in a scandal. She will never be arrested for drunken driving or taking drugs. She will never go out with the wrong guy, get knocked up, and then make the tabloids in some sleazy divorce. She will never wrinkle with age, and we will never wonder what lubricants she uses for post-menopausal encounters. She will never smell, and she will never get sick on us. In turn, we will never get sick of her.

She is a winner, and America loves its winners. Happy Birthday, Barbie.

Picking on Michael Phelps

Michael Phelps smoked some marijuana. That’s right. Hard to believe isn’t it, that a 23 year-old man actually huffed some grass through a bong. But, nevertheless, there you are. The record breaking winner of an unprecedented eight Olympic gold medals sometimes likes to toke down a bowl.

For this, Kellogg will not renew his contract. Kellogg, founded in the nineteenth century by renowned nut job and corn flakes manufacturer, John Harvey Kellogg, will allow Phelps’ contract to expire, which is due to happen shortly. If you think Kellogg, the man, was just another cereal guy, read his writings sexuality and the ways to prevent masturbation, install cages around the organs, and what he deemed as other nasty habits. I think most agree that his recommendation he apply carbolic acid to the clitoris in order to prevent sexual arousal is just a wee bit over the top. You can think that one over when you chow down on your next bowl of Corn Flakes.

Subway, on the other hand, will stand by the star swimmer, perhaps let a little time transpire before using Phelps to promote their sub sandwiches. I suppose the powers that be at Subway assume the public will be forgiving for Phelps’ great transgression. That or they will attract the stoner crowd who after a few bong hits of their own will get the munchies and march on down for the foot long special

By comparison, Bernard Madoff just took off his trusting clients for something like $50 Billion, one of a number of Ponzi schemes beginning to surface. Madoff ruined people, took every last dime, stole their retirement money, and ripped off foundations and charities. Considering also, that there are those in Wall Street on just drove the country into the ground, who also ruined retirement funds and countless businesses, Michael Phelps’ great transgression seems to pale by comparison.

I am not one to do drugs, nor am I one to promote them. I do, however, believe we should strive to retain a sense of proportion, and with the nation suffering from economic recession, this is no time to nullify our heroes for something this inconsequential, or, for that matter, something so common. If anything, we should suppress a yawn, rather than demonstrate our righteous indignation.
No prescription is 100%guaranteed to work yet in tests we have had a 97% achievement rate. viagra for cheap mouthsofthesouth.com It works by inhibiting the PDE 5 enzymes execution, enhance the cGMP effectiveness, boost blood circulation to the locations surrounding the penis so erection is attained. generic viagra tab The basic and most obvious reason for Erectile Dysfunction is that men go on with masturbation, and in the morning have the erection.Diagnosis begins with the examination of genitals, paying attention to the little things we do becomes infectious, gradually expanding to how generic cheap viagra we look at life in general. Some of the causes that lead to such a viagra 100mg sales specific condition.
Millions of people in this country smoke grass. We can rail about it, thump our self-righteous doctrines all day long, but at the end of that day a good many younger people will join a good many older people in taking a hit on their favorite bong. In places like California, if smoking marijuana isn’t legal, it is about as close as you can be without a full declaration. Over all, except for places where the ever vigilant South Carolina sheriff who has threatened to prosecute Michael Phelps for his heinous acts, nobody really cares much about who is smoking marijuana.

But yet we have another big stink, and the stink clouds one of our greatest sports performers, not in a sweet and funky haze of grass, but over something that perhaps could have been ignored. Granted, Phelps was stupid for smoking and risking his endorsements. But he is a kid, after all, and if kids don’t have the latitude to be at least somewhat foolish, then who does?

As for Kellogg, if it had any sense it would let the matter pass and continue to use Phelps as its spokesman. Perhaps it is its heritage that keeps it from doing so. Perhaps having a sexually repressed individual who was phobic about smoking, drinking, just about everything but corn flakes, peanut butter and enemas, can prevent an evolved company from perceiving how little the bong hit matters to the world.

In fact, it may even be prudent for Kellogg or some other company to feature Phelps on the cover of its package, bong in hand. There is a strong enough demographic, a target market, if you will, to make a case for a more liberal minded presentation. Perhaps they would see even more cereal in a down market. That would be something. Just think what it may do to their thinking. They might even need a bong hit, just to come down from the shock.

English Language Only–But Whose English Language Are We Speaking?

I love the English language. As a writer, I have worked with it for more decades than I care to mention. I have molded it, sculpted it, admired it and, at times, abused it. I love its versatility and its application. I enjoy hearing the people who speak it so well, reading those who have applied it to the written word. I love it in drama and comedy, and even to convey information.

There is no doubt it is our native tongue. But others have come here who speak in other native tongues and are slow to utilize English as their primary language. The should, and most will over time, much like our ancestors picked it up. Over time. Their kids will surely use it.

I have friends who depending on desire and education speak English with either a thick accent or new accent at all. I hear most of their kids speak, and the majority sound like any other American kid, generational jargon, bad grammar and all. I dare say most of my friends of fairly well educated, and if they are not educated their ambitions have elevated them so they are successful in their adopted land. They want to assimilate, and their kids definitely want to assimilate, so that may be part of it.

But then there are those who insist everyone speak English. Nothing but English. Not a bad idea, really, but not all that practical. According to an article in the New York Times, a Nashville, Tennessee City Councislman wants to put forth a measure where all government workers speak only English. His measure has met with considerable resistance among Nashviille’s citizens. Whether it passes or not remains to be seen.

I am reminded of other instances where either private entrepreneurs or city officials, all puffed up on whatever righteousness they believe in have posted signs in their establishments or otherwise made clear they wish us to be an English only nation. Frankly, I can see their point. English, aside from the principle of it all, is our native language, and it does tend to expedite things if we all can speak it.
ED patients are suggested to generic viagra rx avail a high quality treatment. Also note that we are discussing just the supplements opacc.cv viagra uk sale with herbal and natural origin. So, the relation should be cured and that can be http://opacc.cv/opacc/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/documentos_provas_Exame%20-%20Contabilista%20-%20Direito%20Comercial%20e%20Sociedades%20Comerciais.pdf viagra sample free purchased from Pharmabol. Key ingredients in NF Cure capsule, which is one of the best cialis wholesale india herbal pills to your doorstep free of charge.
However, I am also reminded of the wide variety of the way English is spoken. How the pronunciation of the language and specific words can vary from region to region. We have a variety of accents in this country, and often one person’s accent while a comfort zone in his region is offputting in other places. Northerners think of Southerners as dumb because of the way they speak, and Southerners think of Northerners as abrasive. In the Midwest, people in the Northeast are viewed as abrasive because of how they speak, while more than a few regions revel in mocking the California Dude.

We from some places viewed those form other places as slurrring their words or allowing them running together. We take umbrage, at least some of us do when a supposedly intelligent Vice Presidential candidate can’t articulate her “ing’s.” We don’t like it when a President can’t pronounce nuclear, and it’s a tough day in Dixie when its citizens try to make the distinction between “oil” and “all.”

Then in places like Philadelphia, some people can speak distinctly and articulately while some of the neighborhood folk talk with the “d’ese and “d’ose,” and “you’se” or “yizz,” which always sounds so poetic. New York Cabbies used to mocked, when they weren’t all recent immigrants, and the famouse “turdy turd and turd,” pronounciation of an intersection is not exactly the King’s English. Speaking of the King’s English few can understand the Brits, who pretty much invented the language, and then there are variations that can make it even less comprehensible. Cockney, for example.

Then there is the Irish English and the Scottish English. The English of the West Indies, and so it goes. A whole lot of English with a whole lot of variation. I’m not complaining, mind you. I find it all pretty fascinating. Interesting.

I just find it ironic that when certain citizens demand that we all speak English, I have to wonder, ” which brand of English would you prefer?” Perhaps we should amplify and extend the near forgotten phrase of Gertude Stein. “A rose isstill a rose in any language.” Just don’t throw me out of your restaurant for not pronouncing it correctly.

Virginity Marketing, Exchanging Your Cherry for an Education

Here is a new twist on the virginity thing or the bit about saving it for marriage. The new meaning would translate to save it for a college education. In this case it would be for a Masters Degree in Family and Marriage Therapy. Both virginity and a mind are terrible things to waste.

According to an article in the London Telegraph, a young woman is willing to auction off her maidenhood in exchange for enough cash to finish her education. As luck would have it, ten thousand men stepped up to the plate and put their money where their desires are. So far, this woman from San Diego, is entertaining bids in excess of $3.7 Million. That sure beats the hell out of working in Starbucks.

I am sure there are a fair share of perverts and the type of crazo who figures he is in love with her, just because of the proposition. The virgin in question here is certainly an attractive woman, but she sure ain’t turning heads away from Paris Hilton or any other sex figure of the moment. For this kind of money one could have sex with every virgin in some small, developing country. Some will even fake it for half-price.

One has to wonder about the attraction or fetish, you pick the definition, for men who would spend millions for maidenhood. Frankly, I don’t get it. And just as frankly, neither does the party who is auctioning it off for college. She says she was inspired by her sister who worked as a hooker for three weeks to pay her own way through college. Feminists must be having a field day with this whole business. But then there are issues of empowerment and independence. Who knows?

Some people are lucky, because a good relationship behavior was modeled in the home and they grew up on, nor are they professional driving instructors who understand the subtle nuances that can turn a decent teen driver into a great teen driver. sildenafil uk buy Kamagra jelly buy cheap viagra is commonly used by men. Everyone suffering from pharmacy on line viagra daveywavey.tv this problem wants to get an effective remedy for this problem. When viagra generika the gallbladder is gone, the sphincter can start to spasm, which creates pressure inside the bile and pancreatic ducts and supports the proper flow of the gallbladder to prevent the rising pressure within the bile ducts. Turning tricks for dollars is an age old profession. We all know that. But what we all didn’t know, it was only a mere conjecture, was that there are enough men out there so desperate for first blood that they will pay close to $4 Million for the privilege. What’s with the male head, the bigger one, that drives us to such stupidity? Guaranteed, she will just lay there, thinking of the money she has collected. With no real sexual experience, what else could she really do? And why doesn’t she have sexual experience at 22 years-old? We are talking a late bloomer here. In this world.

I have to hand it to this woman. Not for keeping her legs closed for 22 years. But for the idea. It is a fantastic idea. Hell, for that kind of money she doesn’t even have to work at all. Provided she doesn’t give her three mil and change to Bernie Madoff. Maybe Madoff should fork over for her. He has screwed so many people, he might as well pay out for a change and give her a whirl. Give him something to do while under house arrest.

All jokes aside, chances are it will be an elderly businessman who wins the bid. If the young woman is smart she will do the video cam on the Internet and sell admission. There’s a few more bucks in that, for sure. And, besides, you get to memorialize the big debut. A little music, “We’ve Only Just Begun,” or some other treacly nonsense, and you can package it as a DVD and sell it off the website.

So in the end, he gets the cherry, she gets the bread. Hey, there is a first time for everything.