Westwood Village Memorial Park is arguably the nicest cemetery in Los Angeles. It is a small park, just south of Wilshire Boulevard. A movie multiplex sits in front of it as well as a high rise office building. In fact, you would never know it is there, unless you…know its there. Or discover it by accident.
Bodies have been entombed, buried, and cremated. Ashes have been stored in urns in a special room that looks like a dusty old apothecary, and in designated vaults. There are cylindrical graves, a couple inches wide, set into posts that also hold ashes. There are fountains, rock formations, and benches marking burial sites. The graves in the cemetery are both simple and elaborate. Yet you will never find a garish grave. This is Hollywood, and spending eternity in a tacky setting is the ultimate in bad taste.
While small and obscure, this quiet graveyard is hardly a secret. Although Forrest Lawn may get the attention, Westwood Village Memorial Park is the final resting place to many show business luminaries. It is an A-List repertory company. The legendary Fanny Brice is buried there, along with film pals Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon. Natalie Wood, Kirk Douglas, Roy Orbison, and Frank Zappa have been all laid to rest in this exclusive little cemetery. Singers Mel Torme and Beach Boy, Carl Wilson are here. You can find the graves of Dean Martin and Burt Lancaster, if you are so disposed. George C. Scott and Billy Wilder. Peggy Lee and Carroll O’ Connor. The list goes on and on.
But perhaps no resident is more famous, or controversial, that Marilyn Monroe. She lived as a legend and died in mystery. Even today, we see her like she was in “Some Like It Hot,” or even, toward the end, in “The Misfits.” It is hard to imagine her, if she remained alive, visiting talk shows at 83 years of age. That is what she would be today. Eight three. Hard to believe.
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But no enough to spend eternity alongside her. That was the plan, but then the plan went awry for reasons that have embellished both their legends. Instead Joltin’ Joe sold that crypt, just above Marilyn’s, to Richard Poncher. Poncher has been occupying that crypt for the past 21 years. It is fitting in a way, as Poncher was an inventor but a rounder who had befriended gangsters, movie stars, and assorted notables. He ate at the good restaurants, traveled, and was the bon vivant. Poncher lived well and died at 81.
At Richard’s insistence, his wife, Elise, had the funeral director turn Poncher’s casket upset down so that he was facing Marilyn. A little unorthodox, perhaps, but far from the oddest dying request. It is Marlyn Monroe we are talking about here. Elise contends that if she didn’t abide by his wishes, Richard would haunt her for the rest of his life.
But now Elise wants to sell Richard’s place and move him. She is selling his crypt and moving him to the one that had been reserved for her. She will be cremated. Opening bids on EBay will start at $500, 000. Half-Million bucks, and up from there. Elise is not selling the crypt out of whimsy. There is nobility involved. She wants to leave here Beverly Hills house to her children, mortgage free.
I wish Elise luck. I hope she gets plenty of cash. I am sure she will. After all, who wouldn’t want the berth above Marilyn Monroe? And right next door to her, reserved for the time he draws his final breath, will be Hugh Hefner. Fitting enough for the Founder of Playboy to be Marilyn’s next door neighbor. And if nothing else, it’s a very exclusive neighborhood. No rowdy neighbors. Very quiet. And the shows they put on are not to be believed.
