Traveling Through Life on a Mobility Scooter

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Ever since a recent trip to Las Vegas, I noticed more and more people driving mobility scooters.   We are not talking about sexy Vespas here, hearkening back to the classic French and Italian films of the sixties, where young lovers tooled around Rome and Paris on their two cycle models.   We are not even talking about the upgrades, the current scooters serving as answers the stratospheric price of gasoline and the lack of parking in the cities.  Instead, what is under discussion are these boring little machines that look insipid when a big rear end is hanging over its seat.

I didn’t even know mobility scooters existed until several years ago when I first noticed late night cable commercials on the television.   The company that was selling these contraptions assure the prospective buyer that if the advertiser believed the person qualified for one on their health care policy and were later turned down, then the advertiser would give the customer one for free.  You can’t beat that.

The commercials which saturated the cable stations demonstrated the mobility scooters ease of use, and how easily it stored in the trunk.   The commercials showed happy old people who were otherwise unable to get around living what was described as a normal life thanks to their new set of wheels and rechargeable electricity.   Here they were shopping, riding through the park, playing with the grandchildren.   Or here they were sitting around three four of them, like geriatric bikers, chatting it up in the retirement sunshine.

Naturally, I believe these mobility scooters were for people who couldn’t walk because they were either handicapped or so ravaged by age their legs could no longer be trusted.  This in itself was a good thing, until I saw my own mother try  out the courtesy scooter  in a Trader Joe’s and nearly run over four people and a display stand of boxed cookies.  It gave me pause. During what must have seemed to the store clerks as her interminable stint around the aisles I was laughing too hard to be embarrassed.  Comedy today is wherever you can find it.

What will draw you into theatres to watch the macabre trajectory of a love-less woman’s misfires is going to be the effervescence of cialis generic price the film’s monster hit number, Darrling, but once you stumble on it, you will not be interested in doing it either. Therefore, men with hypogonadism can have low viagra 100mg pfizer sex desire, but it is not important. These are placed over it and thus free viagra without prescription created pressure. Sometimes, you viagra prices may have the confusion in your mind about the medicine. But I digress.  Since the mobility scooters first came on the scene, I have seen them everywhere.  I have seen them on Sunset Boulevard here in Los Angeles; I have seen additional courtesy mobility scooters added to the Big Box stores.   I have seen what appeared to be caravans of them in Las Vegas, parading down the sidewalks or along the thoroughfares inside the casinos.   Given the economy and a handful of other things, that has to be the perfect statement to the downside of our culture.  One of them, anyway.  We are scootering to hell in a hand basket.

What gets me is that these are not necessarily people who are unable to walk.   These are people who are either too lazy to walk or too fat to want to try.   These are people who could walk but would rather zip around on their mobility scooters.   Whether or not they actually buy them or get their health care plants to write them off is another matter.  If health care is picking these things up, then we are paying for them as well as part of our increased health care payments.

As the cost of health care goes up, fewer people can afford it.  We’re talking here about people who actually need health care.  Not just so they can get a mobility scooter and tool around without having to bother putting one foot in front of the other.   We’re talking about families who are priced out of health care payments because, among other things, the mobility scooters add to the overall costs.

But then we are a society where we believe people have the right to be lazy and indulgent.  Where they can eat what they want, drink what they want, smoke it up, and then complain to, say the airlines that the seat belt isn’t large enough to go around their bellies.

So in spite of our anger over Wall Street, the mortgage fraud schemes, banking, and whatever else is working on our nerves, some of us, don’t seem to get it.  We will run up the health care cost for no other reason than we are too lazy to walk and too indulgent to lose the weight that allows them to walk.   We can talk about our rugged individuality and all that good old American jingo, but with some of us, anyway, instead of climbing back up the mountain, we are puttering along on a scooter.

When Fashion Boutiques Go Bust

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Anyone with a few brain cells left floating between their ears understands that the economy is lousy and times are tough.   They may not know why that happened, or, like most, they may be blaming any number of things.   But the rich are feeling the pinch and those who were pretending to be rich or were rich for twenty minutes, are discovering they can no longer afford what they are used to having.

So the independent boutiques are suffering.  The same great fashion forward, taste making, trendsetting, repositories of cutting edge fashion are looming as an endangered species.   The same tony venues that brought such clothing designers as Giorgio Armani, Jil Sanders, and Dries Van Nooten to the American consciousness are faced with the reality of customers who can’t afford the goods they sell.

While the department stores are faced with the lack of customers, the big guys can offer incentives that the little goes are uncapable or presenting.   Instead they have to cut budgets, which means ordering less stock, or ordering stock on consignment.   They must haggle with their star designers to get cheaper pricing and extended payment terms.

This is not the way of the fashion forward boutique.   A few years ago, hell, even a year ago, most would look at you funny if you wanted to buy something for a mere hundred bucks.   The sales people would smirk at your ignorance, if you seemed either unprepared or less aware of the newest, latest, greatest new names making their presence felt on the runways.   But now the duties alone on some of the imported clothing can put the price points out of range.

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Surely the rich will still buy fashion.  Although, surveys reveal the rich may buy the same brands, but they are not buying the quantity they did before.   As for those consumers buying over their heads, they are drowning.  And the great purveyors of cutting edge fashion are falling by the wayside, one by one.

New designers will come along.  Deisgners who can sell cheap enough or have domestic roots, eliminating the need for the surcharge related to duties.   These will be designers who may make clothes that are rugged and built to last.  No little nothing shoes for $1 Thousand Bucks that can barely make it through a season.  And forget those $5 Thousand Dollar bags.   As for jewelry, if you want to wear expensive bangles and bling, you are liable to get robbed.   Others out there don’t really care who designed it.  Only that it can buy them another meal, or another fix.

But new designers will emerge.  Over time they will be pronounced the new kings and queens of the runway.  They will influence our sense of aesthetics and impact our lives.   And then they too are liable to out price themselves, putting their fashion sense just out or reach of their adoring public.   The retailers who believed in them, who heralded them, and introduced them in their shops, will be faced again with another crisis.   People who need to be cool but who can’t afford to pay the price.

High School was never this stressful.

When Cosmetic Surgery is Put on Hold

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Okay, so clearly we are emerging from a period of excess with surplus of everything and no money to buy it.   We have become used to the rituals of skin, hair, and body enhancement, including everything from expensive but dubious products to laser treatments, Botox, and cosmetic surgery.   We have been waxed, primped, cut, coddled, massaged and injected.

We try to look younger, cuter, more handsome.   We have penis enhancement, hair implants, testosterone shots, and steroids.  We pull back our faces and suck the fat from our belly’s and legs.   And now we are broke, maxed out on the charge cards, out of cash, and no savings to speak of.   We are screwed.   And we are not as good as we want to look.

But across the board there have been serious reductions in the volume  of cosmetic surgery.  It is so critical, fancy doctors are offering deals.  Get a face lift and tummy tuck in a package deal.   Get your eyes done, your ass lifted; get the cellulite out of your legs.    Cosmetic surgeons are hawking their wares, almost going out into the street and forcing patients with their scapels.   It’s almost like an old Earl Scheib commercial where if you get “Diamond Gloss” or whatever they named the paint, they would remove a few nicks and dents as part of the deal.

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We will have to get over the fact we are organisms that fall victim to gravity.   No more hopes we will look like some of our  two bit idols who, truth is, in reality never look like they do after five hours of primping.    For romance, we will have to resort to charm and what looks we have.   We will have to be engaging, doing something different, instead of uttering the same-same and expecting sparks to fly.   We may be to be good at conversation; we may have to polish our sense of humor.   We will have to, heaven forbid it, learn again the meaning of irony.

So sex may not seem as much as a Chanel commercial, but it’s still sex.  Besides, Chanel isn’t advertising all that much.  Our recreational activities will look less like the ad for some tropical destination and more like people who actually sweat.   Those non-Botox injected  worry lines will reveal at least a form of intelligence.   Who but the dumbest among us isn’t worried during this economy?

But, hey, look at the bright side, you can still shave your pubes.   It’s either this or you sit cloistered inside your room, firing down ice cream and watching movies, talking to your friends and wishing for the good old days.   But remember, if the good old days were really that good, they wouldn’t have left us here.

Barbie is Now the Older Woman

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It was announced that Barbie is fifty-years-old.   She is looking pretty good for fifty, considering all the changes she has been through over the years.   She stays trim, colors her hair so nicely; go figure that she is ready for her AARP card.  According to an article in Media Post, Mattel will be offering a whole raft of celebrations in honor of its famous doll.  There will be fashion shows, assorted partnerships, and a real life dream house.

Is Barbie something special?  Yes, she really is.   She is an icon a mixed metaphor of American prosperity and indulgence.   She is romantic, a symbol of how things should be in life.   Of course, when you are Barbie, you will never experience the difficult times of an economic downturn.   Unless Mattel develops a marketing strategy behind it, you will never see  Barbie in rags, clipping coupons, asking for federal assistance.

Perhaps the most tell-tale sign of Barbie’s worldwide popularity is the time right before the fall of Eastern or Communist Germany.   East Germans were given money by the West Germans for a rare acrosss the border shopping trip.   For the East Germans, it was going from a place with barely the necessities and few options, to a land of surplus and many different options.   What did they buy?   They bought Barbie Dolls.   Barbie Dolls were the biggest seller.
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We have joked about Barbie, made fun of her  and her boyfriend, Ken.  We have seen Barbie manifest herself in many different personalities, and a plethora of outfits.   Dress her up, dress her down; she is still Barbie.   And Barbie is part of our history, like Mickey Mouse, and Luke Skywalker.   She is at the place in our culture where fiction intersects with our dreams and forms a working reality.   She is part of us.   She is timeless.

We will never see Barbie in a scandal.   She will never be arrested for drunken driving or taking drugs.   She will never go out with the wrong guy, get knocked up, and then make the tabloids in some sleazy divorce.   She will never wrinkle with age, and we will never wonder what lubricants she uses for post-menopausal encounters.   She will never smell, and she will never get sick on us.   In turn, we will never get sick of her.

She is a winner, and America loves its winners.  Happy Birthday, Barbie.

Pitfalls of a Branded Economic Culture

Brand names have always been important.   For years, a good brand can mean everything from quality and reliability to status and social cache.   But in the last twenty five years or so brand names have evolved into “branding” as a cultural and marketing phenomenon.   Without proper branding, products and services can either fall by the wayside or play second fiddle to those that have been served up to consumers and businesses with the proper branding identification.

We have become dependent upon branding.   Without it, it would appear, few consumers could judge the quality of a product on its own merits.   Without branding we lack the know how to determine how one product may differ from another in the way it is made, crafted,  or serviced.  We can’t really ascertain how it performs, whether in the laundry cycle or on the road.   Despite the Internet and all the information sources we have available, there are relatively few places the average consumer can educate himself on the true character and craftsmanship of any given product.   We know little about the skill it takes to make something just so, the materials used and how they are superior from the knock off varieties.

So we brand products and services and generate enough marketing that consumers believe either the truth or the hype, depending on the goods.   The branding culture has had a tremendous effect on consumer habits and they way they shop.   Our economy is based largely on consumerism, and the perception of someone’s wealth and position in society is what drives much of our economy.    The lines of demarcation is such that without wearing, using or somehow adhering to the socially approved brands, you are considered a lesser person with no taste, no wealth and hardly any social distinction.  Some people really don’t care about all that, but most do.

This kind of mindset certainly has its conveniences.  You really don’t have to think much about what you are buying in order to cater to your own self-perceptions.   You don’t have to know much about the product itself, but just the product elevates you to a certain social category.  No matter that the product is actual quality in terms of construction ad design, the fact that it is perceived as such is all most consumers really need to make their shopping day.

To build their client bases, retail outlets especially rely on stocking branded products.   You must cater to your targeted clientele.   If you stock this product you are considered a lower level, big box type of retailer.  If you stock that brand, then you are the mid-line, department store type of retailer.   And at the upper echelon, you must stock the brands that cause shoppers to perceive you as exclusive.   Coupled with the design of your venue and its geographic location, shoppers know you are ready to service their kind of folk.

But with the economic downturn, branding may have backfired.  With reports of store closings, maybe 70 odd thousand retail outlets across the country, it is becoming abundantly clear that no one really needs all these venues.   Surely, the economic dowturn is the largest factor, but perhaps this financial crisis has shed light on a problem that has existed for quite some time.   Simply put, no matter where you go, you are finding the same merchandise in every place you shop.   One store has no distinction from another.   It is all the same stuff.
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You can go to any city on the planet and, largely, it is all the same stuff.  It may vary from one venue to the other, but each venue offers the same merchandise on its social and economic level as the one you found the the last city you visited.   In fact, you might be shopping in the same chain, buying the same stuff.  Only the city you shop in is different.

So if everyone has the same offerings, small wonder retailers are going out of business, left and right.   Small wonder consumers are reluctant to buy anything.  Not only are they short of cash and credit, but they already have a half dozen of whatever it is being offered in any outlet at any given time.   I hear friends tell me, “who needs it?   I already have plenty of those.”

In a nation that prides itself in originality, there are few places carrying original goods.  Perhaps it is time to see more retail outlets offering smaller batches of merchandise from original designers and suppliers.  I realize there are economies of scale, but with staples there are alternate solutions to overcoming the challenges of economy of scale.   It would be nice for a change to not see everyone wearing the same thing or finding in a house the same layout as the last house.   With some merchandise, pots and pans, for example, sure it will be the same.   But furniture?

Perhaps we need a more educated consumer.  Pundits claim we are educated through the Internet, but do we really know the difference in woods in furniture, the types of finish, the distinctions in quality?   Having watched shoppers in furniture stories, I would think not.   In fact, the level of ignorance about the goods we are laying out money for is fairly astounding.

Maybe one way to stimulate this economy is to be a little more original.   To understand quality and craftsmanship and realize the best things are built to last.  Use them, wear them and allow them to take on the vintage textures of an original creation.   Don’t buy junk, because it has a label you can recognize.

Of course the original designers in time may become popular.  Once they do they will scale up production as people rush to buy their goods.   They will buy blindly, with great faith it will boost their status in the eyes of others.   And then these original products will become so popular we will have…branding.  Oh, well.